My Dear Younger Self: Your Life’s Blueprint

September 7, 2026 @ustadhyusuf Leave a comment

The goal isn’t to make you conscious, the goal is to be in that marvellous state of enlightenment which produces inner self-worth that will make being conscious inevitable.

I guess I ought to start with a commercial… and that is I want you to send me your own version of your life’s blueprint so that I can publish it on this blog for all to benefit and learn. feel free to send to my WhatsApp number on the link below…

https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029Vb7itAK1yT24CHX3Qc30

You can speak, write and record in your own mother tongue, indigenous language.

When we limit our stories to a foreign language such as English – we drown out and exclude many of the older generation who may not be able to speak the foreign language that was imposed to us through colonisation. Also the spirit of the message and the moral of the story may not be captured when speaking in English or any other foreign language.

“A people who have lost their stories have lost their road map.”

Africa has over 2,000 languages and chatgpt and other AI only accounts for 26 of them. So if it only accounts for 26 of those languages – what about for the rest of the continent. So it means that our stories are not told authentically. Feel free to tell your story in your own native indigenous language.

“If you don’t know what happened BEFORE you, you won’t understand what’s happening AROUND you.” Stories are not simply entertainment. Stories tell us who we are.

They teach us where we came from, what we value, what we have survived, and what we can become.

When a people forget their history, they begin to wander. They lose confidence. They lose direction. They start living according to other people’s definitions of success.

But when a people remember their stories, they remember themselves.

And when they remember themselves, they find their road again.

Learn your story. Protect your story. Pass your story on.

Long before microphones and Wi-Fi. Long before WhatsApp groups and social media feeds. Long before books and printing presses and podcasts — our ancestors gathered around fires.
Picture it. The fire in the centre. The elders seated. The children cross-legged at their feet. The night sky enormous above them. And in the space between the flames and the darkness — stories.
They passed wisdom through stories. Culture through stories. Identity through stories. Hope through stories. Stories taught us who we were. Stories reminded us where we came from. Stories helped us imagine where we could go.
The West African historian, storyteller, musicians(griot) existed precisely because a community without its story is a community without its soul. The griot was not merely an entertainer. He was the living archive. The keeper of lineages, battles, migrations, alliances, and wisdom. Before anything was written down, the griot carried it — memorised, rehearsed, and passed on with the care of someone who understood that forgetting was a form of dying.
The izibongo tradition of the Zulu and Xhosa peoples — the praise poems — served the same sacred function. To recite your praise poem was to locate yourself in time and in the community. It said: I know where I come from. I know what my people stood for. I know the strength that flows in my blood.
As the proverb says, “A person is not buried in the forest and forgotten.” Your story matters. It deserves to be told. It deserves to be remembered. And it is your responsibility — not someone else’s — to tell it.
Tell your story. Tell your grandmother’s story. Tell your community’s story. Because until the lion learns to write, every story glorifies the hunter. For too long, Africa’s story has been told by those who came to take from it. By the coloniser. By the explorer. By the journalist parachuting in for forty-eight hours. By the filmmaker who showed only famine and conflict. By the textbook written by someone who had never set foot on this beautiful African continent. Their version of the story was never the full story. It was never even an honest story. It was a story designed to justify what was being done to us.
So write your own. Speak your own. Teach your own and live your own truth, because the stories we tell shape the lives we live — and Africa’s children deserve a story that begins in greatness, not in chains.

The youth who do not feel the love of the village will burn it to feel it’s warmth.

But before I go any further — I want you to do something for me.

Put your phone down. Not on your lap. Not face down on the desk. Not balanced on your knee where you think I cannot see it. Down. Completely down. Because what I am about to say is worth more than whatever notification just lit up that screen.

And I say that not as a request. I say it as a challenge.

I can see some of you doing the slow, casual slide. The phone disappearing into the pocket like nothing happened. I appreciate the effort. That counts.

Because here is what I have noticed. We live in a world where a person can sit in a room full of people — and be completely alone. You can be physically present and mentally a thousand miles away. You can look like you are here, nod like you are listening, and not receive a single word that was spoken. We have perfected the art of being somewhere without actually being there.

The device in your pocket is very, very good at helping you disappear. And I am not going to compete with it. So I am asking you — just for now — to put it away.

Because I want to tell you something. And I want you to actually hear it.

I asked a student once how much his phone cost. He thought about it and said — five hundred dollars. Confident. Proud, even. Like he had done the research and found a good deal.

I looked at him and said: you forgot to read the price tag.

He looked at me like I had said something slightly strange. Which, fair enough — I probably had.

But I meant it.

Because the sticker price is not the real price. The sticker price is what it costs the shop. Your price — the price you personally pay — is something else entirely.

Here is how I calculated it.

The average person spends seven hours a day staring at a screen. Not working. Not creating. Not building anything that will outlast them. Just — watching. Scrolling. Consuming. Seven hours a day is forty-nine hours a week. That is nearly two full days every single week handed over to a device.

Two days. Every week. Gone.

And I want to be fair — some of that is genuinely useful. Maps. Messages. Research. I understand. But let us be honest with each other. We both know that is not where the seven hours is going. The seven hours is going to a fifteen-second video of a cat doing something mildly impressive — followed by another one — followed by forty more — and suddenly it is 2am and you have learned absolutely nothing except that cats, apparently, have no respect for personal space.

Now take those hours and ask yourself a different question. Not what did I watch — but what could I have done? What skill could I have been developing? What book could I have read, what conversation could I have had, what problem could I have been solving, what version of myself could I have been becoming — in those exact same hours?

Multiply that lost potential across a year. Across the compounding returns of knowledge, skill, discipline, and human connection that you did not build — because you were watching instead of doing.

And in my opinion — conservatively — that phone is costing you at least twenty thousand dollars a year. Not to own it. To watch it. Owning it is cheap. Watching it is what bankrupts you. Not in your bank account — but in your potential. In your time. In the life you could have been living.

Twenty thousand dollars a year — to watch.

Now, I am not telling you to throw your phone into the sea. Though I will admit — on certain days — the thought has crossed my mind.

I am not standing here pretending I do not have one. A little scrolling, a little entertainment — that is human. That is fine. Rest is not the enemy. Mindless consumption disguised as rest — that is the enemy. There is a difference between choosing to rest and defaulting to distraction. One restores you. The other quietly steals from you while you smile at a screen.

But twenty thousand dollars? Nobody in this room should be paying that price to sit still.

Now — here is the example I want you to sit with.

Imagine two students. Same school. Same classroom. Same teacher. Same opportunities laid in front of them like cards on a table. To look at them on the first day — you cannot tell them apart.

Student A goes home every evening and spends three hours on his phone. Not three hours doing something with his phone — just on it. Reels, clips, highlights, drama, noise. Three hours a night, every night, for three years of secondary school.

Now before you judge Student A — Student A is not doing anything that millions of people are not doing right now as we speak. Student A is just being completely, perfectly, ordinarily human. There is no villain in this story. Just a price tag that nobody pointed out.

Student B goes home and spends one of those hours reading — anything, something, whatever pulls at his curiosity. One hour of deliberate input. Every night. For three years.

Now do the maths with me.

Three years. One hour a night. Three hundred and sixty-five hours a year.

In three years, Student B has spent over a thousand hours building something inside himself — knowledge, vocabulary, ideas, perspective, the ability to think clearly and speak well — while Student A spent that same thousand hours watching other people live their lives on a four-inch screen.

Same school. Same teacher. Same starting line.

But they do not finish in the same place.

And here is the part that should make you a little uncomfortable: Student A is not lazy. Student A is not a bad person. Student A is not even doing anything that feels wrong in the moment — because it never does. It feels like a break. It feels like nothing. That is exactly what makes it so expensive.

Student A just never stopped to read the price tag.

So I will ask you only once more.

Is your phone down?

Good. The ones still hiding it — I see you. We will deal with that later.

Because what comes next — is worth every second of your attention.

Take a breath.

Not a polite breath. A real one. Fill your lungs. Hold it. Let it go.

Now look around this room. Not at your phone. Not at the ceiling. At the faces around you. Really look. Because one day — years from now — you may not remember every word spoken in this room today. You may not remember who stood on this stage. But you might remember a feeling. A moment when something shifted quietly inside you. A moment when a thought arrived and simply refused to leave.

Those moments matter more than we realise.

And here is something I wish someone had told me when I was your age: almost everything in life happens for the first time — and for the last time. We just never know which moment is which.

Think about that.

The last time you play football with your childhood friends before life pulls everyone in different directions — you will not know it is the last time. You will just think it is a Tuesday afternoon. The last ordinary conversation with someone you love. The last school day before everything changes. The last laugh before distance turns that person into a memory.

You never know which moment is the last one.

Only God knows our story from beginning to end. We make plans. We say I’ll do it tomorrow. We say one day. We say later. But tomorrow is a gift that nobody sitting in this room has been promised. Not me. Not you. None of us.

And I am not saying that to scare you. I am saying the exact opposite.

Because the real question is not what if I run out of time? The real question is — what do I do with the time I have right now? How do I show up fully? How do I squeeze every lesson from every conversation, every chance to learn, every chance to build, every chance to become something I am proud of?

Because nothing — nothing — lasts forever.

So I made myself a rule. And I want to share it with you.

This very minute should not be treated like a qualifying match. Nor a test series. Nor a playoff. Nor a preliminary round or a group stage. This minute — right now — is the World Cup Final if it is football. The Masters if it is golf. The ICC Cricket World Cup if it is cricket. The Rugby World Cup if it is rugby. The Grand Slam if it is tennis. The Olympic Games if it is athletics.

You get the point.

Treat every minute of every single day as if it is The Final. The last game. The one that counts. The one you will never get again. Play it like everything depends on it — because in a quiet, real way, it does. Not because life should feel like pressure. But because it should feel like it matters. Because you are awake. Because you are grateful. Because you understand that this exact moment — this room, these faces, this conversation — will never happen again in exactly this way.

So let us make it count.

Now — here is the thing about Finals.

They do not just happen.

Nobody walks onto the pitch at the World Cup Final without years of preparation behind them. Nobody stands on the Olympic podium without thousands of hours of deliberate, disciplined, unglamorous work that nobody ever photographed or applauded. The Final is the visible moment. But behind every Final is an invisible architecture — a structure, a system, a plan — that made it possible.

The Springboks did not win the Rugby World Cup by showing up on the day and hoping for the best. The All Blacks do not become the All Blacks through talent alone. Every team that lifts a trophy does so because someone, somewhere, sat down long before the tournament began and asked a very specific question:

What exactly are we building — and how are we going to build it?

And that question — that single, powerful question — is the one I want to ask you today.

What is your life’s blueprint?

I want to ask you a question and that is – what is in your life’s blueprint?

This is the most important and crucial period of your life for what you do now and what you decide now at this age may well determine which way your life shall go. And whenever a building is constructed – you usually have an architect who draws a blueprint. And that blueprint serves as a pattern, as the guide, as the model for those who are to build a building. And a building is not well erected without a good, sound and solid blueprint. Each of you is in the process of building the structure of your lives. And the question is whether you have a proper, a solid and a sound blueprint.

And whether you realise it or not — you are already building something. Right now. With every choice you make, every habit you keep, every person you allow into your life, every morning you decide how to spend. You are laying bricks. The question is not whether you are building.

The question is: what blueprint are you building from?

Because some people are building from a blueprint somebody else handed them — a blueprint that was designed for someone else’s life, someone else’s destination, someone else’s definition of success. And they will work hard, and they will be busy, and one day they will look up and realise they built the wrong thing. They spent their whole life playing a Final — but for the wrong team. In the wrong stadium. In a game they never chose.

I do not want that for you.

So if you will give me your time — and I promise to make it worth your while — I want to suggest what I believe should be in your blueprint. Not as someone who has it all figured out. But as someone who has been on the road long enough to learn a few things the hard way.

Think of these not as three separate ideas. Think of them as three pillars holding up the same roof. Remove any one of them and the structure weakens. Keep all three — and what you build will stand through any storm.

Three chapters. The road taught me…

First: Believe deeply in your own self-worth.

Second: Pursue excellence.

Third: Remember Ubuntu.

Let us begin.

Chapter One: Believe Deeply in Your Worth

History is a clock that people use to tell their political and cultural time of day. It is also a compass that people use to find themselves on the map of human geography. History tells a people where they have been and what they have been, where they are and what they are. Most important, history tells a people, where they still must go and what they still must be. The relationship of history to the people is the same as the relationship of a mother to her child. – Professor John Henrik Clarke

The greatest crime committed against the African people was to destroy your confidence in your historical memory of what you have been so that you can forget what you are and also forget what you still can be.

You cannot oppress a historical people. And once a people understand the nature of their role in history – they will not permit themselves to be oppressed. In order to oppress you – people must remove you from the respectful commentary of history. They must destroy your confidence and historical memory. The memory of what you were so that you can be confused about what you are and more confused about what still you must be and where you must go.

***The way you exercise what you think about yourself is how you relate to your reflection. So the brain computer says there’s another one just like you Yusuf – then how I feel about myself will be reflected to how I relate to another African. The same way we get to engage in exercises to keep our muscles in shape. Now we are going to do exercises to get our brains in shape in our self-image, self-concept and self-worth so that we can be effective sons and daughters of Africa. Because if I think negatively about myself – do you think my brain computer will work on my behalf, to optimize my success and development – NO! the brain will say – you don’t like yourself – why should I work on your behalf***

If we know what happened yesterday, we can intelligently discuss today because today is built on yesterday. And tomorrow is built on today

The Child Who is Not Embraced by the Village Will Burn It Down to Feel its Warmth – African Proverb

Much of the destruction we see in our communities — the anger, the recklessness, the young person throwing their future away — is not really destruction. Look closer. It is a cry. A desperate, burning cry that says: somebody please tell me I am worth something.

And so before we talk about excellence — before we talk about Ubuntu — before we talk about history and heritage and what you are capable of building — we have to start here. With this. With the most important thing I will say today.

You have worth. Deep, unconditional, non-negotiable worth. Not because of what you have achieved. Not because of how you look. Not because of where you come from or what your circumstances are. Simply because you are here. Because you are alive. Because you exist.

And nothing — nothing — that anyone has ever said or done to make you feel otherwise was ever the truth.

Self-worth is like honour, in the sense that it is something everyone is born with, it cannot be taken away from you, nor can it be granted, it must only not be lost.

Now here is where it gets interesting, because knowing your worth is one thing. But understanding where that worth comes from — that is something else entirely. And most of us have never been properly taught that second part

The Story of the Baobab Tree

The baobab is called the Tree of Life across Africa. It lives for thousands of years. It stores water in its trunk — sometimes thousands of litres — so that in the driest season, when everything else has withered, the baobab remains full. Animals come to it. Communities shelter under it. It gives even when the land gives nothing. And the secret of the baobab is not visible. It is underground — a root system so vast and so deep that no drought can reach it. The tree survives not because of how it looks above ground. It survives because of how deep it has gone below.

Your worth is like that tree. And this is the truth that the world around you — with its obsession with appearance, money, social media followers, clothing, titles, and fame — will never tell you.

Your true worth is not what is visible. It is the depth of your roots.

Leaves can fall. Seasons change. What you own today can be gone tomorrow. But roots — roots of character, of identity, of history, of culture, of knowing who you are and where you come from — those remain. Those are what hold you upright when everything above the ground is shaking.

And this is why what I am about to say matters so much. Because many of us — through no fault of our own — were never given our roots. They were not planted in us. They were not taught. In some cases, they were deliberately taken away. And a person without roots is not necessarily someone who falls immediately. They may look tall. They may look impressive. But they are one strong wind away from collapse.

***But — and this is the part that cuts deepest — many of us do not believe this. Not really. Not in the quiet moments when the world is not watching and we are alone with our own thoughts. Because we were not taught to believe it. We were taught something else entirely.

Toni Morrison understood this. She wrote: “Freeing yourself was one thing. Claiming ownership of that freed self was another.”

Two different things. Removing the chain is one step. But learning who you are after the chain is gone — deciding for yourself what you are worth, what you deserve, what you are capable of — that is a different and deeper journey. And it is the journey many of us have not yet fully begun.***

Now I want to ask you the question that sits underneath all of this.

Where does your story begin?

Because there is a profound Igbo proverb that says: “If you want to know the end, look at the beginning.” Your starting point shapes your destination. The story you begin with — about who you are, where you come from, what your people have accomplished — quietly determines the direction of your entire life. Whether you reach for big things or settle for small ones. Whether you walk into rooms with your head up or your eyes down. Whether you see your features as something to be ashamed of or something to be celebrated.

And here is something else — something that one African scholar put in the most direct terms I have ever heard: “Outsiders and foreigners cannot educate you in the techniques you can use to take their power away from them.” Those who benefit from your ignorance are not going to give you the tools to become truly free. Every community of people must study their own history, their own strengths, their own identity — not as handed to them by those who had reasons to diminish it, but as it actually was.

A Guinean proverb says: “Knowledge is like a garden — if it is not cultivated, it cannot be harvested.” Your identity, your worth, your understanding of who you are — these are not automatic. They require work. They require cultivation. They require the courage to dig, to question, to learn things you were never taught in a classroom.

And until you do that work — until you go back to the beginning of your story and start from the right place — you will always be building your sense of self on someone else’s foundation.

***Marcus Garvey said it plainly: “My skin is not a badge of shame but rather a badge of beauty.”

Not an apology. Not a disclaimer. A declaration.

And the scholar who said that we have made a huge mistake by reducing African identity to a skin colour alone — he was pointing at something even deeper. He said: the proper name of a people must always relate to land, culture, and history. Because your skin describes how you look. It does not tell you who you are. Who you are comes from your history. Your language. Your ancestors. Your civilisation. Your values. Your story***

And your story — the real, full, unedited version — is extraordinary. It is one of the greatest stories in human history. Most of you have simply never been told it properly.

Today’s circumstances do not determine tomorrow’s possibilities. And the roots you discover — or rediscover — today will determine how tall you can stand tomorrow.

So let us go back to the beginning.

Let us start from the right place.

And let us build our worth on a foundation that no storm, no lie, no system, and no room full of doubt can ever take from us.

Let me ask you something.

Have you ever walked into a room and immediately felt like you did not belong there?

Like everyone else got the memo and you did not. Like they were all speaking a language you were never taught. Like somehow, without anyone saying a single word, the room had already decided you were less than the people in it.

I want you to raise your hand if you have ever felt that way.

Keep it raised for a second. Look around. Because you are not alone in this room. And you were never alone in that feeling. But here is what I need you to understand before we go any further — that feeling lied to you. It has always lied to you. And today, we are going to talk about why.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said: “Don’t allow anybody to make you feel that you’re nobody.”

And the Yoruba — one of the great peoples of West Africa — have a proverb that says: “The lizard that jumped from the high Iroko tree said he would praise himself if no one else did.”

Think about that lizard for a moment. He jumped. Nobody clapped. Nobody noticed. Nobody ran over to congratulate him. So he turned around and said — you know what, I see what I just did, and it was remarkable. I will celebrate myself.

That lizard understood something that many of us spend years trying to learn: your worth is not decided by the applause. It is decided by you.

You are valuable in the space you occupy. You do not need to earn the right to be here. You do not need to justify your existence to anyone. You can enjoy your life without explaining yourself to the world. And the journey to truly believing that — the journey of self-love — starts on the inside. It always starts on the inside. No matter what the world outside is saying about you, the journey begins within. And it continues with healing. With learning. With thriving. One day at a time.

Self-worth is not a feeling you wait for. It is a decision. A daily decision to show up fully and honestly — even when the room feels like it was not built for you.

But here is where I have to be real with you.

Making that decision is harder than it sounds. Because we are living in a complicated time. Existing in this era comes with many contradictions — because so many of us are carrying ideas inside us that we never chose. Ideas that were placed there before we were old enough to question them. Things we were told about who we are, what we look like, where we come from, and what we are worth — and we absorbed them like water, without realising we were drinking poison.

And before you can truly decide your worth, you have to be honest about this. You have to be brave enough to look at what is inside you and ask: did I choose this? Or was it handed to me?

There is a truth that says: “The birth of wisdom is associated with the knowledge of your ignorance.”

In other words — the smartest thing you can ever do is admit what you do not know.

Think about the young Xhosa boy entering ulwaluko — the traditional initiation into manhood. He does not walk into that process as an expert. He walks in as a student. Everything familiar is stripped away. He sits before his elders, humbled, empty, open. And the elders pour wisdom into him — but only because he is willing to admit he does not yet have it.

You cannot fill a cup that is already full.

Think about the young girl sitting at her grandmother’s feet, learning to weave, learning the songs of her people, learning which plants behind the homestead heal fever and which ones heal heartbreak. She does not arrive knowing. She arrives asking. And in that asking — in that humble, courageous act of saying I do not know, please teach me — wisdom is born.

This is what our ancestors understood. This is why they honoured the elder. Not just because of age — but because the elder had spent a whole lifetime turning ignorance into understanding. The elder knew how much they did not know. And that knowing was their greatest power.

Many of us do not know our own history.

And I want to say this clearly: that is not our fault. But staying in that ignorance — that would be our choice.

Because what we were taught in school was not the full story. Not even close. The colonial classroom gave us a very specific version of history — a version that started our story in chains, in defeat, in somebody else’s definition of who we are. It skipped everything that came before. And what came before was extraordinary.

But here is what makes this even more painful. It was not just an accident that we were not taught our history. It was a deliberate strategy. Because if you can make a people hate themselves — if you can get them to look at their own image and feel disgust instead of pride — you do not need chains anymore. You have done something far more powerful. You have turned them against each other.

Think about that. If I teach you to hate yourself — truly hate yourself — then when you look at someone who looks like you, someone who shares your features, your skin, your hair, your blood — you do not see a brother. You do not see a sister. You see the thing you have been taught to despise. And the violence that follows is not random. It is the logical outcome of miseducation. We have been taught to fight each other precisely so we would not stand together. Because the only way a minority can control a majority is through divide and conquer. And the most effective version of divide and conquer does not happen on a battlefield. It happens in the mind.

Marcus Mosiah Garvey said it plainly: a people without knowledge of their history, culture, and self is like a tree without roots. And a tree without roots cannot stand. It cannot grow. It cannot survive any storm. It simply falls — not because it was weak, but because it was cut off from its source.

And here is the crime that was committed against us — and I want you to hear this clearly — it was not just a crime of what they did to us. It was a crime of what they hid from us. A crime of omission as well as a crime of commission. They did not just attack us. They robbed us of the knowledge of ourselves. The knowledge that would have caused us to love ourselves. To love one another. To stand together instead of tearing each other apart.

Where does your story begin?

Because here is the truth — and this is important, so stay with me: where you start your history will determine where you end up. If the only African history you know begins in 1619, when slavery started, then your sense of who you are also begins in chains. In suffering. In someone else’s story about your worth. And most likely — without even realising it — you will move through life carrying that starting point in your bones.

But what if you started somewhere else?

What if you started 4,700 years ago — when African hands were building the pyramids? When African minds were calculating mathematics that the rest of the world had not even imagined yet? When African kings were commissioning architecture so precise that modern engineers still study it and shake their heads?

Everything changes when you start there. You become free. Because the starting point of your history is the starting point of your identity. And the starting point of your identity shapes the entire trajectory of your life.

This is not just inspiration. This is strategy.

Let me tell you what that history actually looks like. Because some of you have been told so little of it that what I am about to say may feel unbelievable.

Psychologists called it Cognitive dissonance is the psychological discomfort you feel when your actions, attitudes, or beliefs clash with one another. This mental tension—often experienced as stress or guilt—drives the brain to subconsciously rationalize the conflict or alter a belief to restore mental harmony.

And that is exactly what Malcolm X warned us about. He said: “You have to be very careful introducing the truth to the African who has never previously heard the truth about himself. The African is so brainwashed that he may reject the truth when he first hears it.”

And James Baldwin — one of the most honest writers who ever lived — said something that I want you to carry with you. He said: “It took many years of vomiting up all the filth I’d been taught about myself, and half-believed, before I was able to walk on the Earth as though I had a right to be here.”

Years. Of deliberately unlearning a false story about himself. Before he could simply stand on the earth and feel like he belonged there.

Because this is the thing they do not want you to know. This is the thing that Marcus Garvey was warning us about when he said: “Emancipate yourself from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free our minds.”

Physical chains were broken a long time ago. But mental slavery? Mental slavery is still very much alive. And it is sneaky. It does not look like a chain. It does not feel like a prison. It feels like normal. It feels like just the way things are. It feels like — of course I want lighter skin. Of course I straighten my hair for job interviews. Of course I am embarrassed to speak my mother tongue in a formal setting. Of course I know more about European history than my own.

That is the cage. And the most dangerous thing about this cage is that it convinces the person inside it that there are no walls. Or worse — that the walls are there for their own good.

Steve Biko — one of the most important thinkers this continent has ever produced — said something that should stop every one of us cold. He said: “The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed.”

Think about what that means. The most powerful weapon is not a gun. Not a law. Not a border drawn on a map. It is a thought. A belief. A quiet, persistent whisper inside a person’s own mind that says — you are less. You do not deserve more. Know your place. Stay small.

If that whisper can be planted deeply enough — if it can be made to feel like your own voice, your own conclusion, your own honest assessment of yourself — then no chains are needed. The prisoner locks their own door. And the most terrifying thing about that kind of imprisonment is that it does not look like a prison. It looks like normal. It feels like just the way things are.

So I am asking you to stay open. Even if what I am about to say surprises you.

Before Europe had cities — before the great European capitals existed — there was Kemet. Ancient Egypt. And the word Kemet, in the original language of its own people, means The Black Land. Not named for its soil alone. Named for its people. Black. Melanated. African.

The pharaohs of ancient Egypt were not the pale; light-skinned figures Hollywood has been projecting onto screens for decades. Look at the actual statues. Look at the carvings. Look at the hieroglyphs — carved into stone thousands of years before anyone tried to rewrite the story. The broad nose. The full lips. The tightly coiled hair. The deep brown skin. These were not incidental details. These were the faces of kings and queens, architects and astronomers, mathematicians and physicians.

These were your faces.

And the artefacts do not lie. Archaeologists found wide-toothed hair combs in ancient Egyptian tombs — not the fine, narrow-toothed combs designed for straight hair, but wide, carefully crafted combs designed specifically for thick, tightly coiled, African hair. The kind of hair that sits on your head like a crown. The kind of hair that some of you have been told to hide, relax, or apologise for. They found shea butter, castor oil, and other natural preparations used to moisturise and celebrate African skin and hair. They found cornrows, locs, and twisted styles on the heads of both royalty and ordinary people — the exact same styles that Black women and men still wear today. The same styles the world now borrows, patents, and calls trendy — forgetting that your grandmothers were wearing them thousands of years before it became fashionable.

They found surgical tools that predate European medicine by thousands of years. Evidence of brain surgery, dentistry, pharmacology. Architectural calculations so advanced that modern engineers still study them with awe. The Great Pyramid of Giza was the tallest structure on earth for nearly four thousand years. Built by African hands. Designed by African minds. Commissioned by African kings.

That is your inheritance.

The Zimbabwe ruins — stone fitted so precisely together that you cannot slide a piece of paper between the blocks, and they used no mortar.

The Mali Empire under Mansa Musa — the wealthiest individual in all of recorded human history.

Timbuktu — An ancient city of learning, home to the University of Sankore, where tens of thousands of scholars studied law, mathematics, astronomy, and theology centuries before many European universities existed.

And here is something most people — even most Africans — have never been told.

Africans ruled Spain for 774 years. From 711 CE to 1485 CE. Nearly eight centuries. And during that time, they did not just conquer land — they built civilisation. They brought the university system into Europe. They built the University of Salamanca in Spain — the first and oldest university in the Western world. And that university was modelled on the University of Jenne in ancient Ghana, which was itself modelled on the University of Sankore in Timbuktu. African intellectual tradition flowing from one generation to the next, from one continent to the next, building systems of knowledge that Europe would later claim as its own. They introduced the bath to Europe. Basic hygiene. Soap. Running water in buildings. Things that medieval Europe did not have — and that Africans brought with them. If you do not believe me, read Stanley Lane-Poole’s The Moors in Spain, written in 1887. Or Alejandro Makaziza on the same subject. The evidence is there. It was never hidden from the people who wanted to find it.

The Benin Kingdom produced bronze castings so refined that when European explorers first saw them, they refused to believe Africans had made them.

They were wrong.

Africa was not a continent waiting to be discovered. Africa was a continent that had already arrived. Had already built. Had already taught the world.

So now let me speak very plainly — no more history lesson, just me talking directly to you.

If you look at the African self-image today — the image many of us carry when we look in the mirror — that image was not created by us. It was created for us. Built over centuries of deliberate miseducation. And the result is that many of us have grown up without a healthy respect for ourselves. Without a deep, rooted love for who we are. And here is the painful truth that follows from that: if we do not have respect for ourselves, we cannot expect anyone else to show it to us. Respect flows outward from the inside. You cannot demand from others what you have not first built within yourself. And you cannot build respect for something you do not know. That is the crime — the knowledge of self was stolen from us so that we would not love ourselves. So that we would not love each other. So that we would remain divided, manageable, and easy to control.

But that ends today. For you. In this room.

Do not reach for the skin-lightening cream.

I am serious. Do not. Because the melanin in your skin is not a flaw. It is a feature. It is ancient. It is powerful. It is the same pigment that protected your ancestors while they built civilisations the world still cannot fully explain. Your dark skin is not a problem to be solved. It is evidence of a people built to thrive.

Do not burn your hair straight to look like someone else. Your coils, your kinks, your locs — they are not unprofessional. They are not unkempt. They are the same hair that sat on the heads of pharaohs. The same hair that African queens adorned with gold. The same hair that needed those wide-toothed combs in the tombs of Kemet. The same hair that has survived every single attempt to make you ashamed of it.

You are not a copy of someone else’s standard of beauty. You are the original.

That is the weight that has been placed on African shoulders. A weight we did not choose. A story we did not write. But one we have been carrying — in our skin-lightening creams, in our chemically straightened hair, in our foreign accents, in our embarrassment about our mother tongues, in every moment we looked in the mirror and felt ashamed of what looked back.

That weight ends the moment you decide it ends.

And this is why — this is the reason — that what we teach our children matters more than almost anything else we will ever do as adults. If we wish to make our children’s lives better, one of the most important things we can do is teach them the knowledge of themselves. As parents, as guardians, as teachers, as elders — we have to keep instilling in them the love and pride of being African. We have to teach them their history. Show them their roots so they can grow up with a genuine love for who they are. So they can find security within themselves. Not feeling inferior. But not feeling falsely superior either. Simply self-assured. Confident. Able to speak the truth without fear. Not bending when they do not have to. Not pretending. Looking people in the eye and speaking honestly.

Because if you do not teach a child who they are, they will not know what to do with their life. They will not know how to set goals worthy of themselves. They will not know what they are capable of. They will spend their whole lives building toward someone else’s definition of success — chasing a version of themselves that was designed by people who never had their best interests at heart.

Identity is not decoration. Identity is the foundation. And a life built without a foundation is always one strong wind away from collapse.

So I want to encourage you — urgently, not angrily — to learn your history. Not from where slavery started. Not from where colonialism began. Go further back. Go to Kemet. Go to Kush. Go to Mali. Go to Great Zimbabwe. Go to Timbuktu. Go to Moorish Spain. Read Cheikh Anta Diop, John Henrik Clarke, Ivan Van Sertima, Chancellor Williams, Dr. Yosef Ben-Jochannan, Stanley Lane-Poole. Because a people who do not know their history are like a tree without roots — tall enough to look impressive, but one strong wind away from collapse.

You need your people. And your people need you to know who you are.

Because self-worth without character is just ego. But self-worth with character — with knowledge, with history, with purpose — that is somebodiness. And as the saying goes: the cowry shell does not know its own value until it is worn by the right person. Know your value before the world tries to assign it. Know it so deeply, so completely, that no room, no mirror, no industry, no border, no lie told across generations can take it from you.

You are not just an individual building a life. You are an African. Heir to the greatest story never fully told. Carrier of a civilisation that refused to be erased. Part of a people who — when they finally remember who they are — will shake the entire world.

And the remembering starts here. In this room. With you.

It starts with the courage to say: I did not know enough. But I am choosing to know now.

Before you can build a future, you must know your worth. And before you can know your worth, you must know who you are.

Baldwin got there. After years of unlearning, he got there. He finally stood on the earth as though he had a right to be there. And so will you. Because the unlearning is not the destination — it is the doorway. And on the other side of that doorway is not just knowledge.

It is freedom.

The freedom to know where you come from. The freedom to stand fully in who you are. The freedom to walk into any room on this earth — not as an apology, not as a question, not as someone waiting to be told they belong.

But as an arrival.

And to truly understand yourself — your history, your features, your heritage, your worth — is not merely an act of self-discovery.

It is the meaning of life itself

Painful clarity is better than strung out confusing hope, your past does not dictate your future and perceived failures do not define you, for progress one must chose the uncomfortable option again and again and again, it doesn’t come any easier but we only become stronger and more resilient

Protect your environment. Protect your circle. Protect your mind. Because you do not rise to the level of your dreams — you fall to the level of your environment. When the roots are deep, there is no reason to fear the wind. Stay sharp. Stay aware of who and what surrounds you. Do not sit in the company of people who dim your light. Because — as the elders say — a single bracelet does not jingle.

Great results are the by-product of great actions Great actions are the by-product of great beliefs. If your beliefs don’t serve you, or worse, work against you, you’ll have a hard time generating the results you want in your life.

Chapter Two: Pursue Excellence

“When you discover what you want to be in life, set out to do as if God almighty called you at this particular moment in history to do it. And just don’t set out to a good job that anyone can do, set out to do a good job and do that job so well that the living, the dead and the unborn couldn’t do it any better.” Dr. Martin Luther King.

Secondly, in your life’s blueprint, you must have as a basic principle the determination to achieve excellence in your various fields of endeavour.

Excellence, however, is not an accident. It is not a title bestowed on the lucky or the naturally gifted — it is a path, deliberately chosen and daily walked. Every name history remembers for greatness — whether on the canvas, on the track, on the stage, or at the podium — followed the same road, even if they never called it by name. That road has five markers. Know them, walk them, and you will find that excellence stops being a distant ideal and becomes, instead, the shape of your everyday life.

1. Know who you are.

Excellence begins not with imitation, but with an honest reckoning of your own nature — your gifts, your temperament, the particular thing you were built to do. Ben Enwonwu understood this early. Rather than simply replicating European artistic traditions, he fused Yoruba and Igbo sensibilities with modernist technique, producing paintings and sculptures — like his iconic Anyanwu — that could only have come from someone who knew exactly whose eyes he was seeing the world through. He didn’t paint like a European master. He painted like Ben Enwonwu, because that is who he knew himself to be.

Self-knowledge is the foundation every other point rests on. You cannot become the best version of yourself if you don’t first know what “yourself” actually is — your instincts, your calling, the thing that feels less like a choice and more like an identity.

2. Become the best version of who you are.

Once you know your nature, the work becomes refining it relentlessly — not chasing someone else’s blueprint. Eliud Kipchoge is the clearest modern example of this. He did not try to become a sprinter, a footballer, or anything other than a marathoner. He took that one identity and pursued it with such singular devotion that he became the first human being to run a marathon in under two hours, and holds the marathon world record with a discipline so consistent that fellow athletes and coaches often describe it as monastic. He is not the best runner in the world at every distance — he became the best possible version of exactly what he is.

This is the difference between imitation and mastery: imitation copies someone else’s excellence; mastery deepens your own.

3. Use your gifts to serve others.

Talent that serves only the self is incomplete. Miriam Makeba used her voice not merely to entertain but to carry the truth of apartheid to a world that needed to hear it — becoming, in effect, the international soundtrack of South Africa’s liberation struggle. Her music was inseparable from her purpose. Similarly, Kwame Nkrumah took his intellectual gifts — his education, his political vision, his understanding of colonial systems — and used them not for personal ambition alone, but to lead Ghana to become the first sub-Saharan African nation to gain independence, and to plant the seed of Pan-Africanism that would shape the continent’s political imagination for generations.

Both figures remind us that the highest use of a gift is not accumulation, but contribution. What good is a voice no one hears, or a vision that serves no one but yourself?

4. Love the process.

Excellence is rarely a single triumphant moment — it is thousands of unremarkable ones, repeated with devotion. Fela Kuti did not stumble into Afrobeat by accident. He spent years fusing highlife, jazz, and funk, experimenting relentlessly with rhythm, language, and political message until an entirely new genre emerged — one that took Africa’s musical heritage and gave it a global voice. Hugh Masekela walked a similar road with the trumpet, refining his sound across decades of exile, collaboration, and performance, carrying South African jazz onto global stages not through one lucky break but through a lifetime of practiced dedication.

Neither man arrived instantly. Both loved the daily work — the rehearsal, the failed experiment, the small adjustment — long before the world ever called them great.

5. Never stop improving.

Even mastery has more road ahead of it. Ngũgĩ wa Thiong’o had already achieved international literary success writing in English when he made the radical decision to write in Gikuyu instead — a deliberate act to reclaim African languages in literature and challenge the colonial hold on how African stories get told. It would have been easy to rest on his acclaim. He chose, instead, to keep growing. Chinua Achebe followed a parallel path: Things Fall Apart alone would have secured his legacy, reshaping how the world reads African stories and countering centuries of distorted colonial narratives. Yet he continued writing — novels, essays, criticism — refusing to let one masterpiece become the final word.

Their example is clear: excellence is not a peak you reach and plant a flag on. It is a direction you keep walking in, even after the world has already called you great.

There is a quote that goes ‘If a man can write a better book, preach a better sermon, or make a better mousetrap than his neighbour, though he builds his house in the woods, the world will make a beaten path to his door’ – meaning that if you create or do something exceptionally well, people will seek you out and support your work, regardless of any hindrance or obstacle that may be surrounding you.

If it falls your luck to be a street sweeper, sweep streets like Like Ngũgĩ wa Thiong’o wrote novels and plays, choosing to write in Gikuyu to reclaim African languages in literature

Sweep streets like Like Fela Kuti composed and performed Afrobeat, fusing jazz, funk, and highlife into something entirely new

Sweep streets like Like Chinua Achebe wrote novels, reshaping how the world reads African stories with Things Fall Apart

Sweep streets like Like Miriam Makeba sang truth to power, her voice becoming the soundtrack of the anti-apartheid struggle,

Sweep streets like Like Hugh Masekela played the trumpet, carrying South African jazz to stages across the globe,

Sweep streets Like Kwame Nkrumah envisioned Pan-Africanism, leading Ghana to become the first sub-Saharan African nation to gain independence

Sweep streets like Like Ben Enwonwu painted and sculpted, capturing modern African art on canvas and in bronze,

Sweep streets like Like Eliud Kipchoge ran the marathon, becoming the first person to run one in under two hours and holding the world record with a discipline many call almost monk-like.

Sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will have to pause and say here live a great street sweeper who swept his job well.

If you can’t be a pine on the top of the hill, be a scrub in the valley, but be the best little scrub on the side of the rill. Be a bush if you can’t be a tree. If you can’t be a highway, then just be a trail. If you can’t be the sun be a star; It isn’t by size that you win or fail – be the best of whatever you are.

Excellence is bringing your very best into every room, every task, and every opportunity life places before you.

Repeat that long enough and excellence stops being an accident.

It becomes part of who you are.

Chapter Three: Remember Ubuntu

The African word, the word that holds more wisdom than most philosophy books — is Ubuntu.

I am because we are.

Say it slowly. Let it settle. Because it is not just a slogan. It is not a hashtag. It is not a motivational poster on a conference room wall. Ubuntu is a complete philosophy of existence. It says: I do not become fully human in isolation. My humanity is activated, deepened, and completed through my connection to other human beings. I am not whole without you. And you are not whole without me. We make each other real.

The Swahili remind us: “Mkono mmoja haulei mwana.” One hand cannot nurse a child. Think about what that quote says. The most fundamental act of care — the raising of a child — cannot be done by one person alone. Not one mother. Not one father. Not one family. It takes a community. It takes neighbours who notice. Elders who counsel. Friends who show up at the right moment with the right word. The village is not a metaphor. The village is a survival strategy.

And yet somewhere along the road of modernity, many of us were sold a different story. The story of the self-made man. The lone genius. The individual who needs no one, owes nothing, and rises entirely on his own steam. It is a compelling story. It is also — and I say this carefully — a lie.

Because there is no such thing as a self-made person. There is only a person who forgot to count the people who helped them.

Think of the Harambee tradition in Kenya. The word itself — harambee — means let us all pull together. It is not a government programme. It is a cultural practice older than any government. When someone in the community needs to build a house, pay school fees, bury a loved one, or start a business — the community gathers. Everyone contributes what they can. Some bring money. Some bring labour. Some bring food. Some bring presence. But nobody stands aside. Nobody says: that is not my problem. Because in a community built on Ubuntu, your problem is my problem. Your dream is connected to my dream. Your rising lifts me.

That is not weakness. That is genius.

As another proverb says, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

And Africa needs to go far.

There is an African proverb that says: “A child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.”

Think about that…

A child who is not embraced by the village — will burn it down — to feel its warmth.

That is not a statement about destruction. That is a statement about hunger. About the most fundamental human need that exists — the need to be seen. To be accepted. To be told: you belong here. You matter. You have worth.

When that need is not met — when young people grow up feeling invisible, rejected, or told in a thousand quiet ways that they are less than — they do not simply accept it. They act out. They seek attention in painful ways. They make noise because silence felt like disappearing. They reach for things that harm them because nothing affirming was placed in their hands first.

The African came from a society that is collective, the European came from a society that is individualistic.

“Rain does not fall on one roof alone.” — Cameroonian Proverb

Meaning

No one lives completely alone. The things that affect one person eventually affect others as well. Joy spreads. Pain spreads. Success spreads. Problems spread.

This proverb reminds us that we are all connected. When one member of a community suffers, the entire community is weakened. When one person succeeds, everyone benefits.

Ubuntu teaches that our lives are woven together like threads in the same cloth.

“Umoja ni nguvu, utengano ni udhaifu.” — Swahili Proverb

Meaning

Unity is strength. Division is weakness.

Throughout history, powerful groups have often succeeded because they worked together. Likewise, communities have often failed because they allowed themselves to become divided.

Ubuntu reminds us that our greatest strength comes from cooperation rather than competition.

“A community is like a bundle of sticks.” — African Proverb

Meaning

One stick can be broken easily. A bundle of sticks is much harder to break.

Individuals may be vulnerable on their own, but together they become resilient.

Ubuntu teaches us that we protect one another through solidarity.

“A single tree cannot make a forest.” — African Proverb

Meaning

No matter how talented, intelligent, or hardworking a person may be, they cannot do everything alone.

Every great achievement depends on the contributions of many people.

Ubuntu teaches humility. It reminds us that we need one another.

“When spider webs unite, they can halt a lion.” — Ethiopian Proverb

Meaning

Individually, a spider web is fragile. A lion could tear through it without effort.

But when thousands of webs are woven together, they become surprisingly strong.

The lesson is that even people who seem weak individually can become powerful when they unite around a common purpose.

“A house built by many hands will never fall.” — African Proverb

Meaning

What is built collectively tends to be stronger than what is built alone.

Many hands bring different skills, perspectives, and strengths. Community creates stability.

Ubuntu teaches that lasting achievements are rarely individual achievements.

The central message of Ubuntu

You are important, but you are not separate.

Your success is connected to the success of others.

Your humanity is connected to the humanity of others.

Your story is part of a larger story.

And the strongest person is not the one who stands above everyone else, but the one who understands that “I am because we are.”

The Big Ubuntu Proverbs Lesson

We are connected (Rain does not fall on one roof alone.)
We become ourselves through others (A person is a person through other persons.)
Unity creates power (Umoja ni nguvu.)
Community protects us (A bundle of sticks cannot be easily broken.)
No one succeeds alone (A single tree cannot make a forest.)
Collective effort multiplies strength (Spider webs can halt a lion.)
What many hands build endures (A house built by many hands will never fall.)

And remember: “A lone tree cannot make a forest.”

A single tree in an open field is beautiful. But it is also vulnerable. The wind that the forest barely notices can uproot the lone tree completely. The forest survives not because its trees are individually more powerful — but because their roots intertwine underground, strengthening each other invisibly, sharing water and nutrients, holding the earth together against the storm.

That is what community does. That is what Ubuntu does. The roots intertwine where no one can see — and when the storm comes, we hold each other in place.

We need each other. We heal each other. We build each other.

Ubuntu means that your victory is my victory. When a student from this school becomes a doctor and returns to serve this community — that is not her victory alone. That is the victory of every teacher who stayed late. Every parent who sacrificed. Every classmate who encouraged. Every elder who prayed. Her success is the fruit of a tree that many hands planted.

The road taught me that no one makes it alone.

A stranger becomes a friend. A village becomes a classroom. A broken motorcycle becomes an invitation to grace. A border crossing becomes a reminder that the lines between us were drawn by someone else — and that underneath those lines, we are one people, healing the same wounds, dreaming the same dreams, building toward the same dawn.

Because you are not just building a life. You are building a bridge. A bridge between where you came from and where you are going. A bridge between the Africa of the past and the Africa of the future. A bridge between the elder who carried the knowledge and the child who needs to receive it. A bridge between your success and someone else’s possibility.

Build that bridge well. Build it strong. Build it wide enough for others to cross.

And Ubuntu means that your pain is not yours alone. When your brother is struggling — when your sister is drowning in silence — when the young man on the street corner has given up on himself — that is not a private problem. That is a community wound. And community wounds are healed by community care.

In the Acholi tradition of northern Uganda, there is a practice called gomo tong — the bending of the spear. When conflict tore through a community, when violence had created wounds between families and clans that seemed impossible to heal — the community gathered. Not to assign blame. Not to punish. But to restore. To bend the spear — the weapon of violence — into a new shape. To transform destruction into reconciliation. Because Ubuntu says: I cannot be fully well while you are broken. Your healing is part of my wholeness.

That is why community matters. That is why mentorship matters. That is why compassion matters.

Think about the mentors who shaped this continent’s greatest leaders. Nelson Mandela and Walter Sisulu — Sisulu who recognised something extraordinary in the young Mandela before Mandela recognised it in himself, who guided him, challenged him, and walked alongside him through decades of struggle. Patrice Lumumba and the community of Pan-African thinkers who sharpened each other’s vision. The young Wangari Maathai and the professors who refused to give up on her, who pushed her further than she thought she could go.

No giant stands alone. Every giant has someone — or many someones — who believed in them before the world did.

So be that person for someone. Be the Walter Sisulu in someone’s story. Be the grandmother at whose feet a future leader sits. Be the teacher who says — I see something in you that you cannot yet see in yourself.

As the elders say, “A child who is carried on the back sees more than the one who walks alone.” The child on the back sees further — not because they are taller, but because someone chose to carry them. Someone chose to elevate them. Someone said: you have not yet arrived at the point where you can walk this terrain alone, so let me carry you until you can. Let me lend you my height. Let me share my view.

That is mentorship. That is community. That is Ubuntu in action.

So freeing your mind means understanding all of this. It means looking at a map of Africa not through the eyes of 1884, but through the eyes of thousands of years of African civilisation. Kwame Nkrumah said: “I am not African because I was born in Africa, but because Africa was born in me.” Julius Nyerere said: “The development of Africa demands the unity of Africa.” And the ancient Egyptians — your ancestors of Kemet — built their entire civilisation around a concept called Ma’at. Truth. Justice. Balance. Harmony. Not for one person. Not for one tribe. For all.

That is the Africa we are reclaiming.

Remember Who We Were

One of the greatest mistakes made about Africa was the belief that the continent needed to be divided into artificial nation-states. These borders were not created by Africans. They were drawn by outsiders during the late nineteenth century, often with little regard for the people who already lived there.

Before 1884, there were no straight lines across Africa. No artificial borders cutting through villages and families and cultures. There were kingdoms and trade routes and migrations and people who had lived together, built together, and loved each other across this continent for thousands of years. Then fourteen European nations sat in a room in Berlin — not one African in the room, not one — and divided an entire continent between themselves. Forty countries drawn in a few months. Lines that cut through the Maasai, the Ewe, the Bakongo, the Somali, the Tuareg, the Himba — splitting families and cultures and identities with a cartographer’s pen.

And then the most cunning part: they made us fight each other over the borders they drew. Because a divided Africa cannot challenge the powers that divided it. Every time an African nation goes to war with its neighbour over a border dispute — that is a foreign pen still drawing blood. Every time we say I am Kenyan, not Tanzanian as though those borders define us — we are reciting lines that were never ours.

We were always one people. They simply convinced us we were many.

The purpose was simple: divide and control.

Yet the traditional African way was very different. Africans flourished in what we might call territorial states and empires—large political communities where many ethnic groups, languages, cultures, and religions lived side by side. People traded together, learned from one another, married across communities, and built civilizations that lasted for centuries.

Our history was never the history of isolation. It was the history of connection.

The inter-relationship of family, clan and village. There was no African individual as such, like what it is today were you can say I am an individual doing my thing. You couldn’t find that type of individual. The African society was made in such a way that they couldn’t find single people living by themselves. All people were attached to the family. Example if a woman became a widow, she either went back to her own family or to her husband’s family. Everyone was somehow attached to someone in the family tree structure. Therefore, most of African society started in communal basis. One was related to his or her immediate family, then to the clan, then to the village, then to the state. So that each individual had a combination of families one was attached to. That’s why there was not much of recorded history of disciplinary cases with children because everyone was accountable to a certain member within the family hierarchy. In these societies there was no word for jail as because no one had ever gone to one. No word for orphanage because no one had ever thrown out any children. No word for old peoples’ homes because no one had ever thrown out grandpa and grandma. The family structure bases on this values – there was no word for prostitution because the idea was unthinkable – when you look at the structure of the family – when the lady is not married at a certain age – two families got together to see what can be done about it. And they found a suitable man for her if she couldn’t find for herself. Mention the Mansa Musa trip to Macca for Hajj Pilgrimage. This was before the invention of the romantic love in marriage. When we adopted the western idea of romantic love – that’s when trouble started because the African marriage was based on respect and bringing families together and sometimes bringing villages together…..And it was with this kind of family structure and continuity that was the basis for the great civilisation of ancient Africa. When Africans started imitating the western family system, it destroyed the centralisation of the African family and the strength of the African culture, traditions, values and the downfall of mighty empires and civilisations.

Dynastic marriages – it used to be the case that when our ancestors found partners, they would do so according to fairly pragmatic considerations. Couples were formed not by the individuals themselves but by the wider society, families, elders and the village court. They were dynastic marriages. Marriage served as a tool to preserve, strengthen, and stabilize a family line also marriage was used to strengthen alliances, protect lineage continuity, settle old debts, and maintain social harmony. Elders acted almost like “family diplomats,” and marriage decisions were rarely left to two young people alone — they were treated as decisions that affected the whole lineage. Couples got together for reasons that had nothing to do with emotional compatibility. There were a lot of tears, there was sadness, there was loneliness – it did not seem to matter because relationships were not individualistic and served a bigger goal.

Clan-to-clan alliances (not just kingdom-to-kingdom) – Marrying into that clan cemented the alliance at a household level.
Cross-village marriages to build trade and safety networks – A family in a farming village might seek a spouse from a village near a river, forest, or trade route — creating in-law ties that gave both families access to resources (fish, salt, grazing land) and safe passage when traveling.
Levirate marriage (widow inheritance) — like the Luo example
When a husband died, his widow could marry a brother or close male relative of the deceased. This wasn’t about romance — it kept the woman and her children within the family lineage, ensured the children were still raised and provided for by the same family line, and prevented the family’s wealth, land, or name from passing to outsiders
Sororate marriage
If a wife died or was infertile, her family might offer a sister to marry the husband instead — again, to preserve the alliance between the two families rather than dissolve it.
Marriage as debt or reciprocity settlement – In some communities, marriage was used to settle a debt of gratitude between families — for example, if one family had helped another during famine or conflict, a marriage years later could formally “repay” that bond and connect the families permanently.
Age-set and initiation-based matching – In societies with age-grade systems (like among the Maasai or Kikuyu), people who went through initiation together often married within networks tied to that same age-set, reinforcing loyalty among peers who would later lead the community together.

Romantic marriages- There was some momentous change that occurred after colonialization of Africa and the subsequent adoption of western customs into Africa’s way of life. It was a revolution in feeling that we now know as romanticism. And one of the central tenets of romanticism is that each individual should be left to decide on their partner by their own, by the movements of their own heart. They should be left to decide for themselves. It’s a beautiful idea, a very liberating idea, it should make a lot of sense. And we have been in this romantic age for the last century or so. And lets put if plainly – its been a disaster. We are not any happier now in a romantic culture than we were in a dynastic culture, where marriages were made for dynastic reasons. Why, because we have failed collectively to focus with enough intent on the difficulties the couples with have when they choose each other according to the movements of their heart. Love is described as a special feeling, not a set of ideas, not a sense of rationally observable principles, but a feeling. You must be guided by your feeling. Couples are guided by emotion rather than reason. Reason is the enemy of in the romantic worldview of truly happy relationships. I ask you my dear brothers and sisters – is it truly unromantic if we define romanticism as the pursuit of a workable relationship? Is it unromantic to talk about money? Is it unromantic to think long and hard about childhood patterns of psychological development? Is it anti-romantic to spend a lot of time thinking about families and friends and compatibility at that level?

To live in a romantic culture means to form a relationship by instinct, that everyone has a soulmate, that you will recognize your soulmate by a special flattery feeling. That you shouldn’t be asked to account for that feeling. You should simply go for it and elope or move in together and start having kids if that what’s seizes you.

A person’s life satisfaction is determined by up to around 70% by the quality of their personal relationships. An alien hearing that statistic, visiting planet earth would think – well clearly earthlings – given the enormous role of love, will be spending 70% of their money and 70% of their education time working out how on earth this business of love works. But instead will leave it to chance because we live in a romantic culture.

Cause-and-effect of Romanticism

Individual feeling replaces collective decision-making → weakens the habit of subordinating personal preference to group goals, which Pan-Africanism depends on.
Marriage no longer serves alliance-building → cross-clan, cross-village, and trade/safety ties that marriage used to create stop forming.
Romanticism imported alongside colonization → retaining it means retaining a colonial-era import rather than reclaiming indigenous systems.
Elders displaced as “family diplomats” → weakens the institution that transmitted collective memory and intergroup cohesion across generations.
Family-level instability from unhappy romantic pairings → ripples outward to weaken the basic social unit any larger political project needs.
Marriage held together by feeling alone, with no external scaffolding → feeling fades, scaffolding was never there, so divorce rates rise.
Parenting individualized instead of kin-supported → when the romantic bond breaks, no extended-family safety net catches the child, producing single parenthood.
Fractured households and weaker elder guidance → economic strain and less consistent intergenerational value transmission to youth.
Feeling as sole justification for entering a relationship → feeling also becomes sole justification for leaving one or breaking its norms, since accountability to reason/family/community was rejected from the start.

Consider the great African civilizations that rose and flourished long before colonial borders existed because of the African family structure.

North and Northeast Africa

Ancient Egypt (Kemet) — c. 3100 BC – 30 BC
- One of the world’s oldest civilizations, famous for its pyramids, mathematics, medicine, engineering, and written language.
Kingdom of Kush (Nubia) — c. 1070 BC – 350 AD
- Located in present-day Sudan. Kushite rulers conquered Egypt and established Egypt’s Twenty-Fifth Dynasty. They also built more pyramids than Egypt itself.
Carthaginian Civilization — c. 814 BC – 146 BC
- Based in present-day Tunisia, Carthage became one of the greatest trading and naval powers of the ancient world.
Aksum (Axum) Empire — c. 100 AD – 940 AD
- Centered in present-day Ethiopia and Eritrea. Aksum was one of the most powerful kingdoms of its age and connected Africa to trade networks stretching into Arabia, India, and beyond.

West Africa

Ghana Empire (Wagadou) — c. 300 AD – 1200 AD
- A wealthy trading empire that controlled important gold and salt routes across West Africa.
Mali Empire — c. 1230 AD – 1600 AD
- Home of the legendary Mansa Musa. During its golden age, Timbuktu became one of the world’s leading centers of scholarship, learning, and commerce.
Songhai Empire — c. 1464 AD – 1591 AD
- One of the largest empires in African history, renowned for its military strength, administration, and educational institutions.
Benin Kingdom (Empire) — c. 1180 AD – 1897 AD
- Famous for its sophisticated government and extraordinary bronze sculptures that astonished European visitors.
Kingdom of Kongo — c. 1390 AD – 1914 AD
- A powerful Central African kingdom with advanced political institutions and extensive trade networks.

Southern Africa

Great Zimbabwe Civilization — c. 1100 AD – 1450 AD
- Builders of the magnificent stone city of Great Zimbabwe, one of Africa’s greatest architectural achievements.
Mutapa Empire — c. 1430 AD – 1760 AD
- Successor to Great Zimbabwe and a major regional power controlling trade and natural resources across Southern Africa.

When we study these civilizations, a pattern emerges. Africans were not strangers to diversity. We had already mastered the art of bringing different peoples together under common political systems. We did not need outsiders to teach us how to live with one another.

The tragedy is that the borders imposed upon Africa encouraged division where there had once been connection. They encouraged us to think of ourselves primarily as citizens of small states rather than members of a larger African family.

But Ubuntu reminds us of a deeper truth:

“A person is a person through other persons.”

Our future will not be built by walls. It will be built by bridges.

Our ancestors left us a powerful lesson. Egypt lasted for three thousand years. Kush endured for over a thousand years. Ghana, Mali, Songhai, Benin, Kongo, Aksum, Great Zimbabwe, and many others rose and flourished because people learned to live, trade, build, and dream together.

The challenge before our generation is not to invent unity. It is to remember it.

Because a river that forgets its source will dry up.

And Africa’s source was never division.

It was Ubuntu. It was community. It was shared destiny.

When we remember that truth, we do more than honour our past.

We begin to build our future.

Africa is not waiting for a saviour descending from somewhere else with answers forged somewhere else for problems they have never lived. Africa is waiting for you. The young woman in this room who decides today that her community deserves better healthcare — and becomes the doctor who provides it. The young man who decides that his children will know their history — and becomes the teacher, the writer, the storyteller who makes sure they do. The entrepreneur, the engineer, the artist, the activist, the farmer, the coder, the healer — all of you, choosing today to be fully, excellently, unapologetically yourselves.

As the proverb says, “The drumbeat changes, but the dance continues.”

The rhythm shifts. The world changes. Technology changes. Borders shift. Generations pass. But the dance — the ancient, irreplaceable dance of a people who know who they are, who love where they come from, and who refuse to stop building — that dance continues. It has survived slavery. It has survived colonialism. It has survived every attempt to make us forget. And it will continue — through you, because of you, as long as you choose to keep dancing.

So keep dancing. Keep building. Keep becoming.

The Story of the Long-Handled Spoons

An elder was once shown two rooms by a guide. In the first room, a group of people sat around a magnificent feast — mountains of food, rich and fragrant. But every person had been given a spoon with a handle so long that no matter how they twisted and stretched, they could not bring the food to their own mouth. And so they sat — hungry, frustrated, surrounded by abundance — each one growing thinner in the presence of plenty. The room was full of noise. Arguments. Accusations. Complaints. Nobody was eating.

In the second room, the same feast. The same impossibly long spoons. But something was different. Here, the room was warm. Laughter moved through it like a breeze. And every person was full — because every person was using their long spoon to feed the person sitting across from them. And that person was feeding them in return.

The elder turned to the guide and asked: “What is the difference between these two rooms?”

The guide said: “In the first room, they forgot Ubuntu. In the second room, they remembered & practiced it.”

This is not just a story about food. It is a story about every resource, every talent, every gift you have been given. Your spoon is long for a reason. It was designed to reach someone else. When you understand that — when you stop trying to feed only yourself — everybody eats.

You cannot feed yourself with a long-handled spoon. But you can always feed someone else. And they can feed you. That is the only way the feast works.

When communities unite in the thread of solidarity and mutual cooperation, the strength of the continent multiplies manifold. It is through this collective resolve that our people will touch ever-new heights of progress.

AS I PREPARE TO CLOSE…

Everyone is waiting for the perfect condition to start; they don’t realise getting started is the perfect condition.

“An ounce of practice is worth a thousand words.”

Echoed in African wisdom traditions favouring action over speech. Africa does not need another generation that only talks about change. It needs a generation that becomes the change. Learning your history is important. Loving yourself is important. Believing in Ubuntu is important. But these ideas only matter if they shape how you live. Knowledge without action changes nothing. As many African elders would say, a person is not judged by what they promise to do but by what they actually do. Stop talking about the life you want. Start building.

Before I go — I want to leave you with three questions.

And I do not want you to answer them to me. I want you to answer them to yourself, honestly, in the quiet space inside you where nobody is watching and nobody is performing.

First question.

If everyone in this room copied your daily habits today — would Africa as a whole evolve or collapse?

Think about that. Not as a question of judgment. As a question of accountability. Because we are not isolated individuals making isolated choices. We are a community. And communities are shaped by the accumulated daily habits of the people inside them. Your morning. Your discipline. Your relationship with your phone. Your relationship with your books. Your relationship with your word — do you keep it? Your relationship with your time — do you honour it? If the whole room did what you do every day — where would we end up?

Second question.

If a version of you from five years ago walked in right now — would they be impressed or depressed?

Would that younger you look at where you are, what you have become, how you spend your time, what you are building — and feel proud? Or would they feel a quiet, heavy disappointment? Not because you have failed. But because you settled. Because you played small. Because you let the dream shrink to fit the fear.

You owe that younger version of yourself an honest answer.

And you owe the future version of yourself a better one.

Third question.

And this one — this one is the heaviest of all three.

I want you to imagine your obituary.

Not the one that will be written. The one that should be written — if you lived every single day between now and your last breath at the absolute fullness of who you are capable of being.

Write it in your mind right now.

The lives touched. The organisation built. The young person in Kigoma who found their direction because of something you chose to fund. The woman in Mtwara who finally told her story because you created the space for it. The community that did not descend into violence because someone — because you — decided that peace was worth investing in before the fire started.

Now — put that obituary down.

And pick up the one that is currently being written.

The one being written by your actual daily choices. Your actual priorities. The meetings you take and the ones you avoid. The risks you embrace and the ones you defer until next quarter, next year, next decade.

Are they the same obituary?

Or is there a gap?

Because that gap — that space between who you are living as today and who you are fully capable of becoming — that gap has a name.

It is called unlived life.

And unlived life does not disappear quietly. It accumulates. It becomes regret. It becomes the thing you cannot name but feel every time you are alone and honest with yourself at two in the morning.

I am not here today to add to your regret.

I am here to give you an opportunity to close the gap.

I have ridden through the dust and the rain of this continent.

I have sat with young men who had nothing — no job, no direction, no one who believed in them — and watched their eyes change when someone finally looked at them and said: your story matters.

I have sat with women who had been silenced for so long they had forgotten what their own voice sounded like — and watched them find it again, word by word, in a circle of people who refused to look away.

I have seen what happens when a human being is given permission to tell the truth about who they are and where they have been.

They stand taller.

They walk differently.

They begin to believe that what comes next can be different from what came before.

That is what My Younger Self Series does.

Not in a conference room. Not in a report. Not in a PowerPoint slide.

On the road. In the community. Face to face. Story to story. Life to life.

So here is what I know.

Africa does not lack resources. Africa does not lack intelligence. Africa does not lack courage.

What Africa sometimes lacks — is people who refuse to let the gap between their possible obituary and their actual one grow any wider.

Be that person.

Choose the obituary worth writing.

Final Closing

The story of Africa did not begin with slavery.

The story of Africa did not begin with colonialism.

The story of Africa did not begin with borders drawn by strangers.

Our story began with builders, thinkers, explorers, scholars, inventors, kings, queens, farmers, traders, and dreamers.

And now the next chapter is waiting to be written. Not by outsiders. Not by governments. Not by history books. By you.

So remember your worth. Pursue excellence. Live Ubuntu. And then, with courage, take the first step.

Because the secret of getting ahead is getting started. And the world is still waiting for Africa to remember just how great she truly is.

Believe deeply in your worth. Pursue excellence without apology. Remember Ubuntu — because you are because we are, and we are because you are.

The 9 Ubuntu Doctrines

Nine Daily Practices for Building Yourself and Building Africa

Ubuntu Doctrine 1: Know Yourself Before the World Defines You

Daily Commitment

I will intentionally learn my history, culture, language, traditions, and ancestry so that my identity is built on truth rather than on stereotypes or misinformation.

Practice

Study African history every week.
Learn your mother tongue.
Celebrate your African identity.
Reject every lie that diminishes your worth.
Teach younger people where they come from.

Question

“Am I living according to my own story or someone else’s?”

Ubuntu Doctrine 2: Protect Your Mind Like Your Greatest Treasure

Daily Commitment

I will carefully guard what I allow into my mind because every thought eventually becomes a habit, and every habit becomes my future.

Practice

Read more than you scroll.
Limit unnecessary social media.
Surround yourself with positive thinkers.
Think before accepting popular opinions.
Feed your mind with wisdom every day.

Question

“Is this strengthening my mind or weakening it?”

Ubuntu Doctrine 3: Master Your Time Before Time Masters You

Daily Commitment

I will treat every hour as an investment rather than something to waste.

Practice

Begin every day with purpose.
Replace distraction with learning.
Finish important work before entertainment.
Treat today like the championship final.
Build skills every single day.

Question

“Did I invest today or merely consume it?”

Ubuntu Doctrine 4: Pursue Excellence in Everything You Do

Daily Commitment

I will never settle for “good enough” when I am capable of becoming better.

Practice

Improve one small thing every day.
Accept honest criticism.
Repeat until the work becomes excellent.
Learn from mistakes instead of fearing them.
Finish every task with pride.

Question

“Did I give my very best today?”

Ubuntu Doctrine 5: Build Yourself Before You Try to Build the World

Daily Commitment

I will strengthen my character before chasing success.

Practice

Develop discipline.
Keep your promises.
Build healthy habits.
Take responsibility for your choices.
Become someone people can trust.

Question

“Am I becoming the person my future requires?”

Ubuntu Doctrine 6: Turn Knowledge into Service

Daily Commitment

Everything I learn must improve somebody else’s life.

Practice

Share your knowledge.
Mentor younger people.
Solve problems in your community.
Volunteer your skills.
Ask daily, “Who benefits because I exist?”

Question

“Who is better today because of me?”

Ubuntu Doctrine 7: Choose Community Over Individualism

Daily Commitment

I will build people instead of competing against them.

Practice

Encourage others.
Celebrate other people’s success.
Ask for help when needed.
Offer help without being asked.
Build strong friendships based on honesty.

Question

“Am I making my community stronger?”

Ubuntu Doctrine 8: Become a Bridge Between Generations

Daily Commitment

I will receive wisdom from my elders and pass it to those who come after me.

Practice

Listen to older people.
Record family stories.
Preserve African traditions.
Teach children their history.
Become a mentor.

Question

“What wisdom will survive because I lived?”

Ubuntu Doctrine 9: Leave Africa Better Than You Found It

Daily Commitment

My life must become a contribution, not merely a success story.

Practice

Solve local problems.
Build institutions.
Protect the environment.
Support African businesses.
Create opportunities for future generations.

Live by one simple question:

“If every African lived exactly as I live today, would Africa become stronger or weaker?”

If the answer is weaker—

change your habits.

If the answer is stronger—

keep building.

The Ubuntu Affirmation

I will know who I am before I decide where I am going.
I will protect my mind, because every future begins with a thought.
I will pursue excellence in every task, no matter how small.
I will honour my time as my greatest earthly resource.
I will remember that my worth cannot be given or taken away.
I will live Ubuntu, knowing that I become fully human through others.
I will use my gifts to serve my community.
I will choose unity over division and cooperation over selfishness.
I will leave behind a legacy that makes the next generation stronger than my own.

Once we find ourselves on the map of human geography, we have to tell our children – who they are. We must tell our children what their mission must be. And the kind of legacy they have to leave for the whole world but begin with themselves in the essential selfishness of survival – take care of yourself first then find that mirror and find who is staring back at you. And who’s staring back at you – use the word WE, WE are going to change the world. And if we gave the world the first humanity, we will give the world the next humanity. And as for getting ready for the job – we are ready to do it right now. Dr. John Henrik Clarke.

This is the story according to Ustadh Yusuf – what’s yours?

Business, Family, Finance, Health

My Younger Self Series – Sirito

August 7, 2026 @ustadhyusuf Leave a comment

Your story is not defined by the struggles you face today, but by the courage you show while overcoming them

The Journey of Patience, Hard Work and Resilience.

Dear Younger Self,

I know the road ahead will not always be easy, but I want you to remember one thing: your beginnings do not determine your destination.

I was born and raised in a remote village in Western Kenya, in a humble family where survival was a daily struggle. My parents were peasant farmers who worked tirelessly to provide for us, even when resources were limited. Life taught me from an early age that nothing comes easily, and every opportunity must be valued.

Growing up, I carried dreams bigger than my circumstances. Through determination and sacrifice, I managed to pursue my education and studied Automotive Engineering. It was a journey filled with challenges, but I believed that education would open doors to a better future.

However, after completing my studies, I discovered that having skills and qualifications does not always guarantee opportunities. In Kenya, limited employment opportunities pushed me to choose self-employment and create my own path. The journey of entrepreneurship came with many challenges — lack of capital, limited opportunities, uncertainty, and moments when giving up seemed easier than moving forward.

But every challenge carried a lesson. I learned that success is not built overnight. It requires patience, commitment, courage, and hard work. I learned that sometimes the journey may be slower than expected, but every step forward matters.

To my younger self, I would say:

Do not be ashamed of where you come from. A humble beginning can produce a strong character. Keep learning, keep believing, and never allow challenges to convince you that your dreams are impossible.

Life will test your patience, but those tests will shape your strength. Work hard, remain focused, and trust the process.

With love and gratitude,
Your future self,
Leonard Sirito

Education, Entreprenuer, Family

My Younger Self Series – Wafula

July 30, 2026 @ustadhyusuf Leave a comment

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.

I grew up in a rural community in Kenya where agriculture was the backbone of our family’s livelihood. Our daily life revolved around coffee farming, cotton farming, maize farming, and cattle rearing. As children, we spent long hours herding cattle until late in the evening. We also hunted small animals such as rabbits, wild fowl, and other birds, which formed part of our way of life and helped our families survive.

Despite the challenges, I was fortunate to receive a basic education that taught me how to read and write. However, due to financial difficulties, I was unable to continue with my studies. Coming from a large family with many children, our parents had limited resources, and we all had to make sacrifices.

Looking back today, I thank God for giving us hardworking parents who did everything they could to provide for us. Their sacrifices, love, and determination laid the foundation for who I am today. I now appreciate how much they endured to ensure we had food, shelter, and the opportunity to learn.

Life has taught me that success comes through hard work, resilience, patience, and faith. I have also learned that we should never give up, no matter how difficult life becomes. Challenges are part of the journey. Just as a road has hills and flat sections, life also has highs and lows. We must be prepared to face every season with courage, hope, and determination.

To my younger self, I would say: Keep believing, keep working hard, and never lose hope. Every challenge carries a lesson, and every season prepares you for a brighter future.

With love and gratitude,
Your future self,
Bineah Wafula

Family, Home, love

My Younger Self Series – Judith

July 17, 2026 @ustadhyusuf Leave a comment

*“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”* – **Maya Angelou**

As a single mother, I spent years working away from home to provide for my children. Every sacrifice I made was driven by love and the hope of giving them a better future.

When I grew older, I looked forward to spending my remaining years surrounded by family. Instead, my life took a turn I never expected. Today, I find myself in prison, separated from the people I dedicated my life to raising.

My journey has taught me that love and sacrifice are important, but so are wisdom and self-protection. Not everyone will value your efforts, and sometimes life’s greatest disappointments come from those closest to you.

If I could leave one lesson for the next generation, it would be this:

Love deeply, serve faithfully, but never stop protecting your dignity, your voice, and your truth.

With love and gratitude,
Your future self,
Judith Simiyu

Education, Family, Health

My Younger Self Series – Ben

July 3, 2026 @ustadhyusuf Leave a comment

When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around

I was born in the early 1940s in the western part of Kenya, in an average family during a time when our region was not yet developed. Life was very difficult, and because of the challenges around us, I never had the opportunity to attend school or receive an education.

When I was still very young, I lost both of my parents. Their death left a huge gap in my life, and from that moment, survival became my daily struggle. Life was hard, painful, and full of uncertainty. I had no choice but to accept the situation and find ways to survive.

I started doing small farming activities, but deep inside I knew I needed something more to sustain myself. I decided to leave home and search for casual employment. After many struggles, I managed to get work on someone’s farm as a houseboy. The work was not easy, but I endured because it was the only way I could earn a living.

From 1990 until 2018, I worked tirelessly with the little strength I had. Years passed as I struggled day and night just to survive. Eventually, age caught up with me, and my energy started deteriorating. That is when I decided to return and settle back on my ancestral land.

Because of financial hardships, I never managed to marry or build my own family. Sometimes life does not go the way we expect, but I have learned to accept what God gives us.

Today, all my brothers have passed away, and I remained the last born and the only one left. Although I can no longer work for a living, I thank God because my brothers’ sons are taking care of me. Their support has taught me something very important in life — even when you have nothing, there are still people who can stand with you, support you, and show you love.

Through all the suffering, hardship, loneliness, and struggles, I have learned that patience, humility, endurance, and faith in God are what keep a person moving forward.

With love and gratitude,
Your future self,
Ben Munyapali Musee

Education, Family, Home

My Younger Self Series – Benard

June 29, 2026 @ustadhyusuf Leave a comment

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall

My name is Benard Wanyonyi. I was born and raised in the remote areas of Western Kenya, a place where life was simple but often very challenging. I come from a polygamous family, and we were the second family. Growing up in such a setup was never easy, especially because my father struggled with alcohol addiction.

At a young age, my parents separated. That moment changed everything in my life. I was left under my father’s care, but instead of stability, I found confusion, hardship, and emotional pain. Life became difficult, and as a result, I was unable to attend school like other children. Watching others go to school while I stayed behind was one of the hardest experiences I had to endure.

My childhood was filled with struggles that no child should face. There were days of uncertainty, days of hunger, and moments when I felt completely lost. My life felt like it had no direction, like I was stuck in a storm without shelter.

But through all this, I survived.

Somehow, through the pain and challenges, I found strength within myself. Life became my teacher. I learned lessons that no classroom could ever teach—patience, because nothing came easy; hard work, because survival demanded it; and resilience, because giving up was never an option.

Today, I stand grateful. Grateful that I made it through. Grateful that the struggles did not break me, but instead shaped me into who I am. My story is not just about hardship—it is about endurance, growth, and hope.

I have learned that no matter how difficult life becomes, patience pays, hard work opens doors, and resilience can carry you through even the darkest times.

With love and gratitude,
Your future self,
Benard Wanyonyi

Business, Family, Home, love

My Younger Self Series – Dan

June 1, 2026 @ustadhyusuf Leave a comment

Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.

I was born and raised in a small village in the western part of Kenya, in a family that was trying to survive with very little. Even though we were considered middle class, life never felt easy. Every day came with its own struggles.

My father was a forester, but he lived a life that pulled him away from us. He was polygamous and often lost in alcohol. We were the second family, and many times it felt like we did not exist in his world. Days would pass without seeing him. When he wasn’t at work, he was in drinking places or with the other family.

As a child, I didn’t fully understand it—but I felt it. The absence. The silence. The questions that had no answers.

But in the middle of all that, there was one person who never left—our mother.

She was our strength, our hope, and our provider. Every morning, she would wake up early, carry her vegetables, and walk to the nearest market just to earn enough for us to eat. Sometimes it wasn’t enough, but she never gave up. She stood by us when everything else felt uncertain.

Watching her struggle and still choose us every day changed me.

There were moments of doubt, moments of pain, moments when life felt unfair—but I held on. I got the opportunity to go to school, and I chose to fight for a different future. I pursued electrical installation, not just as a course, but as a way out, as a promise to myself that my story would not end in struggle.

Through everything, I learned that: Hard work is not optional—it is necessary.

Patience is painful, but it builds strength.

And even when life feels divided, you must build yourself whole.

Growing up in a polygamous family was not easy. It came with pain, confusion, and many challenges. But it also gave me resilience. It forced me to grow faster, to think deeper, and to become stronger than my circumstances.

Today, I carry not just my dreams—but my mother’s sacrifices, my struggles, and the lessons that shaped me.

This is not just my story.

This is my foundation.

With love and gratitude,
Your future self,
Dan Mchonje

Business, Education, Entreprenuer, Family

My Younger Self Series – Kibet

May 29, 2026 @ustadhyusuf Leave a comment

The secret to getting ahead is getting started

I grew up in a remote village in the western part of Kenya. As the firstborn son in my family, I carried many responsibilities from a young age. My parents were middle-class peasant farmers, and we depended entirely on farming for our survival. Being the firstborn, I had to take care of my younger siblings. As they often say, firstborns are like second parents—and from my experience, that is very true.

Growing up with such responsibilities taught me a lot. I learned how to lead by example, to sacrifice, and to embrace hard work and dedication. I had to step up because my parents were always busy working on the farm.

Despite these challenges, I still attended the local village school, where I acquired my basic education from lower primary all the way to Form Four. However, life became more difficult when my parents separated while I was in Class 8. From that point on, we remained with our father, and the responsibilities increased even more. We had to work extra hard to support ourselves.

Due to the weight of these responsibilities, I did not perform well in my Form Four exams. However, I did not give up. After completing secondary school, I joined the National Youth Service (NYS), which later sponsored me to pursue a certificate course in Electrical Engineering. I successfully completed my training.

Although I did not secure a job afterward, I chose to return to farming—the same activity that had always sustained my family. I believed it would continue to provide for us, and it has remained a reliable source of survival.

Today, I am grateful for the little I have. I have learned that life is a journey that requires resilience, hard work, dedication, and self-discipline.

With love and gratitude,
Your future self,
Shadron Kibet

Business, Education, Entreprenuer, Family

My Younger Self Series – James

May 17, 2026 @ustadhyusuf Leave a comment

My Dear Younger Self,

This is a story of pain, survival, resilience, and hope. A story that reminds every young man and woman that difficult beginnings do not mean a hopeless future.

Raised by a single mother in Kangemi, life was marked by hardship from the very beginning. Survival depended on casual jobs, long days, and constant sacrifice to provide for four children.

Education became difficult to sustain, and after a road accident in Kangemi, schooling came to an early end at Class 6. What should have been the season of learning turned into a season of struggle.

While others moved forward, life seemed to stand still. Dreams felt delayed, opportunities felt distant, and the future looked uncertain.

But difficult beginnings do not decide final outcomes.

In 2014, during a funeral wake in the neighbourhood, an opportunity to help came through delivering death announcements to churches within the community. It was a small task, done out of goodwill and service.

The work was done with seriousness, discipline, and reliability. Messages were delivered on time, and trust began to grow within the community.

Most of the work was voluntary. Sometimes a small token of appreciation was given, but many times nothing was received.

Still, consistency continued.

With time, people began to recognize dependability and commitment. Then one person offered simple but life-changing advice: start charging for the service.

That small advice became the beginning of change.

What looked like a minor task became an income source. What looked like wasted years became preparation. What looked like hardship became training for responsibility and resilience.

Lesson

Never despise humble beginnings.

Never assume delay means denial.

Never believe struggle means the end.

Character built in hard seasons often creates success in later seasons.

One day, the pain of today can become the hope of someone else tomorrow.

With love, pride and gratitude,
Your future self,
James Mburu Wambui

Business, Education, Entreprenuer, Family

My Younger Self Series – Sarah

May 5, 2026 @ustadhyusuf Leave a comment

Dear Younger Me,

I remember it like it was yesterday. Just after high school, at barely 18 years old, life handed me responsibilities bigger than I could imagine. My father entrusted me with his secondary school, expecting me to run it like a professional. I had no experience, no resources, only determination and a heart full of dreams.

In January, my dad gave me a crash course. He showed me the ropes of marketing, reception, teaching, managing staff, and handling students. Then, just a week later, he left for work elsewhere, leaving me in full control. I was alone at the helm, a teenager managing a whole school.

But life had lessons ready for me. The teacher I trusted in the office? Turned out he had other plans. He lured students away to another school for personal gain. Even the relative my dad had left in charge the previous year had done the same. January began with an empty school and a lot of work ahead. Parents came with inquiries, only to be misled. By February, most students had gone elsewhere. It hurt, but I learned quickly: you must stand firm, trust cautiously, and act decisively. My dad helped me remove that teacher, and slowly, we began rebuilding.

We started with only 18 students in Forms 1–4. I had barely any clothes to wear. I owned just one or two pairs of shoes and lived in humble conditions. But my father reminded me, “Don’t let your problems show.” Those words became my armor. Every role fell on me—I was teacher, principal, receptionist, cook, security, manager—all at once. I taught two subjects across all forms. I also did home schooling for a pregnant girl. Additionally, I worked tirelessly to keep the school running.

Marketing became my second life. From April to December, we knocked on doors, went to churches, villages, and towns, spreading the word about our school. Slowly, students returned. By January the next year, we had 50 students. The following years, 100, 150, 200, and eventually 250 students. Growth brought more classrooms, dorms, and even boarding facilities. Maasai families came with full trust. They paid fees for the year upfront. This allowed us to invest in the school—labs, libraries, halls, and eventually electricity.

Discipline, order, and excellence became non-negotiable. Classes were punctual, dorms and classrooms clean, staff accountable. Trips were carefully organized, always with the students’ growth and experience in mind—whether to theaters, children’s homes, or educational excursions. My heart was always in their development.

I even had the honor of attending high-profile meetings with DEO, DO, KNEC, and other officials. I was always the youngest principal in the room, but I earned respect through diligence and integrity.

Saturday boiled eggs and Sunday matumbo became school traditions. Prize-giving days were events I poured my heart into, celebrating students, teachers, and staff alike. Our students shone on GBS TV programs, proudly showcasing the fruits of our labor.

Eventually, the day came when I felt my mission was complete. I left the school, knowing I had transformed it from near-empty classrooms to a thriving institution. My father begged me to stay, but I knew it was time to carve my own path. That was how Kerry Designs Africa was born—out of vision, discipline, hard work, and faith.

Dear Younger Me, remember this: challenges are opportunities in disguise. Responsibility shapes character. Faith combined with effort always brings results. No matter how heavy the burden, your courage, creativity, and perseverance will carry you farther than you imagine.

With love and gratitude,
Your future self,
Sarah K. John

Education, Family, love

My Younger Self Series – Collins

April 23, 2026 @ustadhyusuf Leave a comment

I Lived This Life… And I Survived

There was a time I lived in Nairobi with my wife and our two sons. We stayed in a small, struggling house—rent was only Ksh. 2,000, yet even that felt impossible to raise.

I was trying. Every single day, I went out to hustle. But most days, I came back with nothing.

My wife… she became our pillar. She was a teacher in a private school, but her salary was never certain. Some months she was paid, other months she wasn’t. Still, she carried us. She paid rent when she could. And through it all—she never complained.

But life was hard.

We were always behind on rent. The landlord kept coming. Many times, I was taken to the chief’s office in Kayole. I became a familiar face there. Imagine that—being known not for success, but for struggle.

Then one night, everything hit the lowest point.

It was around 9 p.m. I had just walked all the way from Mlolongo to Kayole. No money. No food. No hope. Just exhaustion and silence.

When I reached home, they were already at my door.

They took me again—to the chief’s office. This time, it was final. I was to be evicted immediately.

I sat there… broken.

Not just tired—but defeated.

I could barely speak. My spirit was empty.

I remember a moment before that night, when I looked at my wife and told her to leave me. I told her to take the children and go… because I felt like I was wasting her life.

But she refused.

She looked at me and said she was not complaining.

That broke me even more.

In that moment, I made a promise:
“If we ever come out of this, I will never leave your side.”

And I have kept that promise.
Because that woman covered my shame for many years.

That night at the chief’s office, the senior chief looked at me for a long time. Then he asked me, “Do you have land back home?”

I said no.

He told me to go back to the village. He said the life I was living was embarrassing… that I should go rebuild my dignity.

Those words were heavy.

But deep inside me… something refused to die.

A quiet voice kept whispering:
“Not yet… not yet… your story is not over.”

I held on to that voice.

Today, I stand as a living testimony that pain does not have the final word.

Life will push you.
It will strip you of dignity.
It will expose your weaknesses and test your strength.

But if you hold on—if you keep your faith, if you refuse to give up—God will meet you in that darkness.

What I went through did not destroy me.

It built me.

And the rest… is history.

With love and gratitude,
Your future self,
Collins Otieno

Education, Family, Home

My Younger Self Series – Naomi

April 13, 2026 @ustadhyusuf Leave a comment

I was born in a small village called Muyayi in Bungoma. That is where my childhood began—simple, quiet, but full of challenges that would later shape who I am today.

My journey in education started at Bible School and nursery before I joined Chemche Primary School, where I studied from Class One to Four. Life was not easy even at that young age. The journey to school was tiring, and at home, things were already getting difficult. Later, I was transferred to Khaoya Primary School, where I continued from Class Four to Class Eight. It was there that I sat for my KCPE. By God’s grace, I passed well, and my results opened doors to many big schools.

However, despite the good performance, my family was not financially stable, and I could not join those schools. Instead, I joined Namachanja High School. Even there, the journey was not smooth. I faced many challenges, including sickness, but I did not give up. I pushed through and managed to complete my KCSE.

After high school, I joined Kisiwa Technical Training Institute. College life was also tough, with many struggles along the way, but I remained focused. I worked hard, sat for my exams, and eventually went for my industrial attachment—an important step that has contributed to where I am today.

Growing up, we were a middle-class family, but life became very hard when I was in Class Four. There was little money, and we had to find ways to survive. We woke up as early as 5 a.m. and worked until evening, doing manual jobs on other people’s farms just to meet our basic needs. Despite all this, we never missed school. We balanced work and education, determined to build a better future.

We started hustling at a very young age, not because our parents had failed us, but because we understood our situation. That experience taught me responsibility, resilience, and the value of hard work.

Through it all, I learned one important lesson: giving up is never a solution. No matter how difficult life becomes, there is always hope for a better tomorrow.

I keep going. I keep believing. My story is not over—it is just beginning.

With love, pride and gratitude,
Your future self,
Job Naomi

Education, Family, Health

My Younger Self Series – Munyao

April 7, 2026 @ustadhyusuf Leave a comment

**“You sailed through what should have drowned you. And because of that, I know I will survive whatever comes next.”**

A Letter to My Younger Self

Dear Younger Me,

I remember you clearly. A young man full of hope, walking through the halls of the University of Nairobi with dreams bigger than fear. You believed in hard work, in honesty, and in the power of knowledge to change lives.

You chose medicine because you wanted to heal people. You did it not for fame or money. Deep inside, you believed that saving even one life was worth a lifetime of effort.

You studied day and night, determined to master the complex science of the human body. Years later, you stood proudly in the operating theaters of Kenyatta National Hospital as a neurosurgeon. Your hands carried the responsibility of touching the most delicate organ in the human body—the brain.

Every surgery was a battle between life and death, and many times, you helped life win.

You built a career based on trust, skill, and dedication. Patients believed in you. Colleagues respected you. Your family looked up to you.

Life felt meaningful.

But if I can reach back through time and whisper something into your ear, I would tell you this:

Life does not always change because of the big decisions we make. Sometimes it changes because of the smallest ones.

One ordinary day, you will buy a second-hand mobile phone. It will cost only two thousand Kenyan shillings. You will buy it from someone you know at the hospital—a mortuary attendant. You will not question it. To you, it will be just a cheap phone. Your daughter can use it while studying at Moi University.

It will feel like a simple act of love from a father to his child.

But that phone will carry a history you cannot see.

It once belonged to Moses Gituma, a senior official at the Central Bank of Kenya and brother to the then Commissioner of Police, Mathew Iteere. He had been robbed and murdered, and his belongings—including the phone—were taken by criminals.

The phone will pass through unknown hands until it reaches you.

Years later, investigators will trace the device. The trail will first lead to your daughter’s boyfriend. Then, it will lead to your daughter. Finally, it will lead to you.

You will tell the truth. Calmly. Clearly.

You will explain that you bought the phone second-hand and had no idea where it came from.

You will believe that the truth will protect you.

But the truth will not save you.

In 2009, a court will convict you and sentence you to thirty years in prison. When you appeal, hoping justice will correct the mistake, your sentence will instead be increased to death.

Later, it will be commuted to life imprisonment.

And just like that, the life you built for decades will collapse.

Your career will disappear.

Your freedom will vanish.

You will watch the world move on without you.

Today, I write this letter from inside Kamiti Maximum Security Prison, where I have spent more than two decades.

But here is something important I want you to know.

Even when life takes everything from you, it can’t take who you are.

Inside these prison walls, I refused to stop being a doctor. I help sick prisoners when they need medical advice. I treat wounds when I can. I care for people who have been forgotten by the world.

I also trained as a paralegal to help inmates prepare legal documents and fight for their rights.

In a strange way, I am still doing what you dreamed of doing when you were young:

Helping people.

So if I could give you a few lessons before life takes its unexpected turn, I would tell you this:

Be careful with the small choices in life, because sometimes they carry invisible consequences.

Never assume that justice will always be fair, because even systems created to protect people can make mistakes.

Do not let your identity depend on your title or your freedom. A doctor is not defined by a hospital building but by a heart that cares for others.

And most importantly, never lose hope.

Because hope is the one thing no prison wall can truly hold captive.

Younger me, life will not go the way you expect.

But even in the darkest places, you will still find ways to heal others.

And that, in the end, will remind you that your purpose was never truly taken away.

With wisdom earned through pain,

With love and gratitude,
Your future self,
Dr. Clement Munyao Katiku

Education, Family, Home

My Younger Self Series – Victor

April 1, 2026 @ustadhyusuf 1 Comment

WEIGHT OF HOPE.

Never giving up is a cornerstone of success and resilience

I joined Kibabii University on 19th September 2023. I was excited and hopeful. I was convinced that I had finally found the path to change my life. Like many young people, I believed education was the answer to everything I had left behind at home.

But as time went on, I began to understand more.

I realized that getting to university is not the hardest part—surviving it and making something meaningful out of it is. I saw friends struggle with fees, families organizing harambees, and dreams delayed not by lack of effort, but by circumstances.

I also learned that life is not just about books. The people you meet, the relationships you build, and the networks you create matter just as much. Truly, your network is your net worth.

To my younger self, I would say this:
Hold onto hope, but be ready for reality. Be intentional with people, stay resilient, and never stop believing in your journey.

Because even in uncertainty, there is purpose.
And even in struggle, there is growth.

With love and gratitude,
Your future self,
Victor Kibet

Education, Family

My Younger Self Series – Judith

March 27, 2026 @ustadhyusuf Leave a comment

“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.”

My name is Judith Nafula, and I want to share with you the story of my younger self—the struggles I faced, the lessons I learned, and how I overcame challenges despite coming from a poor background.

I grew up in a family that did not have much. From a young age, I learned that life demanded courage, patience, and hard work. School was a dream that seemed out of reach because my family could not afford it, and I often felt the weight of disappointment. Yet I knew I had to find another way to learn and grow.

As a young woman, survival meant hard work. I took on labor in the farms far from home. The work was long, exhausting, and the pay was little, but it taught me discipline, resilience, and the value of earning my own living. I realized that even with limited opportunities, determination could create small victories.

Returning home, I focused on farming and small businesses, making the best of what I had. Life taught me that you don’t need wealth to work hard, and you don’t need privilege to succeed. Every small step I took became proof that persistence and faith could overcome scarcity.

Through the struggles, I learned that challenges could be met with discipline, patience, and focus. Even when life seemed heavy, I discovered that perseverance and hard work could turn difficulties into opportunities.

To my younger self, and to anyone facing hardship today: “Never let lack define you. Work hard, stay strong, and trust that each step you take, no matter how small, brings you closer to overcoming your struggles.”

With love and gratitude,
Your future self,
Judith Nafula

Business, Education, Entreprenuer, Family, Finance

My Younger Self Series – Ustadh Yusuf

March 20, 2026 @ustadhyusuf Leave a comment

50 Life Hacks For My Dear Younger Self

“Your future is not ahead of you, it’s trapped within you.” — Myles Munroe

What are the ultimate life hacks and strategies that really pay off?

Here are 50 of my best life hacks and strategies that have served me well.

To put it another way, my Future Self thanks me for them.

These life hacks are the culmination of life experience, insight from mentors, personal development training, trial and error, and several hundred books.

I’ve also combined my life hacks with some powerful quotes to add an element of timeless wisdom. I’ve also targeted strategies that can help you at different stages in life, whether you are just starting out, or you’ve been around the block.

If you feel you’ve lost your way, several of these life hacks and strategies will help you get back on path. If you internalize these life hacks for your Future Self and put at least a few into action, you’ll give yourself an immediate and instant source of advantage.

As you explore the list, find three life hacks you can use right now to ignite a breakthrough or two, and take your life, and your Future Self, to the next level.

#1. Never Stop Learning

Learn from everyone and everything.

Be like a kid in the candy store and learn from everybody around you.

Everybody you know has their unique gifts. Learn from them, even if it means learning how NOT to do something. Also, people like to share what they’re good at, so eat it up.

Never be above learning, and learn from every one you can. Don’t let your ego get in the way, no matter how smart you are.

Focus on building your portable equity. Your day is filled with learning opportunities if you are open to them.

You can teach an old dog new tricks. If you stay open. If you keep trying new things.

You’re growing or dying. There’s no in-between.

Never close your mind. Stay open to new worlds and new possibilities.

#2. Invest in Yourself

This one will pay you back every time.

You are your best investment, and you take you with you wherever you go.

As Robin Sharma says, “Investing in yourself is the best investment you will ever make. It will not only improve your life; it will improve the lives of all those around you.”

It’s too easy when you finish school and start a job to say, “I’m done with learning.” If you want to keep earning, you have to keep learning.

#3. Drive from Your “WHY”

Every day you make a choice about how you show up in this world – at work, in your business, in life. Have a cause that drives you and a belief that inspires you.

We fall short when we focus on what we do, and not what we stand for.

Life’s short. Then you die.

Make it matter.

Your purpose is power and it’s fuel for your passion,

Drive from your purpose.

But where do you find it?

Look inside.

Find the answer to the question, “Why do you do what you do?”

Peel away at an onion until you get to the inner core. Find your fire inside. That’s where your strength to move mountains comes from, and your purpose is the torch that lights the way for others to help you in your cause.

#4. Decide Who You Are

Define yourself.

Don’t let others define you or what you’re capable of.

My favorite answer to “Who are you?” is from Scott Adams:

“You are what you learn.”

#5. Decide Who You Want To Be

In the Last Lecture, Randy Pausch asks us to decide if you’re Tigger or Eeyore

Own your choice and live it like you mean it.

One day when I was running around the different halls within the campus – rushing to get to class on time, one of my mentors stopped me and asked, “How do you want others to experience you?”

Not like a chicken with its head cut off.

More like James Bond and on top of the situation.

How do you want others to experience you? How do YOU want to experience you?

Start from there, and drive from that.

You’ll immediately start creating more of the experiences that you want, and less of those that you don’t.

#6. Live YOUR Life

Who’s life do you want to live? The one your parents or your friends want for you? Or, the one that fairy tales taught you? Or the life that the media tells you?

It’s your life. Live it on your terms.

Don’t live other people’s lives. Don’t try to keep up with the Joneses. Do what makes you happy. Know what you want, and what you need. Don’t let other people’s expectations for you rule your life, or limit the life that you want to lead.

People pleasing wears you out, unless you find a way to please yourself first.

#7. Live Your Life from the Inside Out

Start from the inside.

Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world.

We get what we project, and the world reflects back at us.

Here are a few words of wisdom from Earl Nightingale:

“It’s so easy to forget ultimate in the rush and hurry of daily life, especially for young people. So often, we’re merely responders, so to speak, simply reacting to stimuli, to rewards and punishments, to emergencies, to pains and fears, to demands of other people, to superficialities. It takes a specific, conscious effort, at least at first, to turn one’s attention to intrinsic things and values. Perhaps seeking actual physical aloneness. Perhaps exposing one’s self to great music, to good people, to natural beauty, and so forth. Only after practice do these strategies become easy and automatic so that one can be living totally immersed in his or her river.”

Immerse yourself in your river.

#8. Live Your Values

“Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.” — Henry David Thoreau

The key to The Good Life is spending more time in your values.

To live your values, you need to know your values.

When you know your values, you simply need to connect what you do each day back to your values.

The smart way is to connect what you do at work to your values. For example, if you like to learn, then use each day as a learning opportunity, or a chance to master your craft. Or, if you value excellence, then raise the bar. Or, if you value beauty, then do more beautiful things and produce more works of art.

#9. Drive from Your Life Style

For so many people, life makes more sense when they find a job where they can spend more time in their values and matches what they want their life style to be.

If you don’t like to travel, then don’t choose a job that requires a lot of travel.

If you don’t want to work crazy hours, then don’t choose a job where a crazy schedule comes with the territory and is the nature of the beast.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of chasing the idea that the grass is greener, or that the glory of the job is worth it, or that climbing the ladder will make life so much better.

Then reality hits.

Going up the ladder, doesn’t necessarily mean spending more time doing what you love. Going up the ladder, doesn’t mean life gets better or easier. In fact, it often means more sacrifice and more responsibility that you might not want at this point in your life. Worse, it might mean you spend a lot less time doing what you love and spending a lot less time in your strengths.

Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it.

#10. Be Yourself

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” — Bernard M. Baruch

Besides the fact that everybody else is taken, you’re the best person for the job.

But don’t “just be yourself.” Really, bring out yourself.

Know what you bring to the table and how to flex what you’ve got.

Share your unique gifts with the world, by spending more time in your strengths. Do more of YOUR art.

Live your values. Know YOUR wants and needs.

Stay true to you.

The more authentic you are, the stronger you’ll be in everything you do.

#11. Know Thyself

“He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened.” — Lao Tzu

To be yourself, you need to know yourself, and what you’re capable of. And, limitations, and opportunities for growth, too.

The more you know yourself, the more you grow yourself, and the more you can bring out your best. And, the more you know yourself, the more you can also understand and appreciate others, and deal with differences. This will help you connect better and build better bridges.

So you think you know yourself?

Let’s take a quick check …

Do you know WHY you do what you do? Do you have your short-list handy of your top values that shape your priorities in life? Can you name your top 5 strengths? Do you know your preferred learning styles? Do you know your preferred thinking styles? Do you know how you like to deal with conflict and your preferred conflict management style? Do you know your NLP meta-programs that you use to drive your mind? Do you know your personality and work environment type that shape your career path?

#12. Be Your Own Best Friend

“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.” — Diane Von Furstenberg

If there’s one person to have in your corner, it’s you.

Be your best coach, not your worst critic.

You take you with you wherever you go, so it’s worth figuring out how to lift yourself up, not beat yourself up, and how to have a strong sense of self-worth.

The more compassionate you are with yourself, the more compassionate you’ll be with others, and you get what you give.

If you don’t think your worth it, here’s new for you …What separates the people that have a strong sense of love and belonging from those that don’t?

They think they’re worth it. That’s it.

The choice is yours.

#13. Seek Simplicity

Simplify.

It’s way easy to make things more complex than they need to be.

Seek simplicity.

Simplicity is the key to sustainability.

Drive towards it.

If you keep things simple, you can better adapt to change. You can also focus more on what’s important without getting lost in distractions and weeds.

#14. Measure Your Life by the People Whose Lives You Touch

“Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes.” that’s the number of minutes in a year … “525,600 minutes – how do you measure, measure a year? … In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. … In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In 525,600 minutes – how do you measure a year in the life?”

How do you measure your life?

You don’t measure it in mansions or yachts.

And, you don’t need to climb a mountain to find the truth.

You can measure your life by the people whose lives you touch.

#15. Embrace the Challenge

You know the saying, “Easy come, easy go.”

And, “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

Do the tough stuff. Embrace the effort. It’s how you grow.

You’ll often look back and you’ll be proud of yourself for all those moments and all those times where you leaned in to your challenges, and gave it all you got.

For so many things in life, you’ll need to remind yourself the following:

It’s not easy. But, it’s worth it.

#16. Never Give Up

“If you’re going through Hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill

Giving up is easy.

Don’t.

Keep getting up to bat.

Never shut down for good.

It’s not how hard you fall. It’s how high you bounce.

When you fall, get up again. As the saying goes, “Fall seven times, stand up eight.”

#17. Focus on What You Control, and Let the Rest Go

Every time life feels out of control, remind yourself to focus on what you control.

And, let the rest go.

When you act on what you control, you build momentum.

More importantly, when you exercise the things within your control, you remind yourself that you are powerful and resourceful.

#18. Take Action

“Life is like a game of chess. To win you have to make a move.” — Allan Rufus, The Master’s Sacred Knowledge

As Tony Robbins reminds us, “It’s not knowing what to do, it’s doing what you know.”

Our power is our ability to act. Exercise it. Life’s not static. Lead a life of action.

Taking action helps you deal with change. A lot of success in life is about reducing the gap between knowing what to do, and actually doing what you know. Taking action keeps you from wallowing in misery, and it helps build momentum.

If you’re worried that you missed the boat, remind yourself of this timeless Chinese proverb:

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”

#19. Ruthless Focus, Relentless Execution

Voltaire said, “No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking.”

It’s true.

Likewise, no challenge can withstand our sustained action.

When it comes to making things happen on a consistent basis, no single strategy has served me better than extreme focus and relentless execution.

Act on your best idea, in some small way. Over time, with sustained focus, relentless thinking, and little actions, you compound your effort into greater results.

Keep in mind, that sometimes the best way to get great results is to take massive action.

In the words of Dan Brown, “Everything is possible. The impossible just takes longer.”

#20. Choose Your Response

“All change happens with a choice.” — Tony Robbins

Don’t let other people push your buttons.

Expand the space between the stimulus and the response.

Stephen Covey said it best:

“In the space between stimulus (what happens) and how we respond, lies our freedom to choose. Ultimately, this power to choose is what defines us as human beings. We may have limited choices but we can always choose. We can choose our thoughts, emotions, moods, our words, our actions; we can choose our values and live by principles. It is the choice of acting or being acted upon.”

As one of my mentors puts it, “You are the sum of your decisions.”

Exercise your choices.

When it comes to making big change and making big choices, put yourself into a position where failure is not an option. Tony Robbins shares this advice:

“If you want to take the island – burn the friggin’ boats!”.

#21. Enjoy the Journey and the Destination

““Life is like skiing. Just like skiing, the goal is not to get to the bottom of the hill. It’s to have a bunch of good runs before the sun sets.” – Seth Godin

It’s one thing to focus on your destination.

It’s another to enjoy the journey as you go.

Do both.

Find a way to make the journey worth it.

Sometimes, you won’t actually reach your destination. You’ll want to look back and know that you made your journey worth it, you stopped to smell the flowers along the way, and if you had to do it all over again, there’s a good chance you’d do it the same way.

#22. Be Here Now

“Where are you? …. HERE. What time is it? … NOW. What are you? … THIS MOMENT.” – Peaceful Warrior

Be here now. Your choices are in the moment.

You can choose what you focus on. You choose whether to worry or take. action.

Now is a great time to act.

Right here, right now, you can think the thoughts that serve you.

Throughout the day, you’ll have learning opportunities and leadership moments.

In the moments throughout the day, you can connect what you do and how you do it back to your values.

In this moment, do you know what you want, what you think, and what you feel?

#23. Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude

“Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.” —Schachtel

Acknowledgement and appreciation are the most powerful rewards on Earth.

You can cultivate your attitude of gratitude by being thankful for the good choices you make during your day. Acknowledge and appreciate when you make the tough call, do the right thing, or take the high road.

Tony Robbins starts his day from a place of strength by reminding himself what he’s grateful for.

Whenever you can’t find a way to be grateful for what you’ve got, remind yourself how things can always be worse, and if you look for examples, you’ll find plenty. There is always somebody worse off than you.

#24. Create a Feedback Loop

“Feedback is the breakfast of champions.” — Ken Blanchard

The fastest way to improve with skill is to get a feedback loop that gives you data to learn and improve from.

Find ways to build learning loops, where you can iterate on something, and get a little better each time.

If you’re not getting the insight you need, fast enough, or relevant enough, then tighten your loop.

#25. Form a Personal Board of Directors

Find people in your life that you trust to give you deep feedback on ways to improve.

They may even know you better than you know yourself.

Find the people and friends who are willing to offer you insight and guidance on how to bring out your best.

#26. Give Your Best Where You’ve Got Your Best to Give

Spend more time in your strengths.

It’s one thing to play to your strengths when you get the chance.

It’s another thing to deliberately find ways to spend a lot more time in your strengths.

John Wooden’s secret to a happy life was peace of mind. His secret to peace of mind was giving his best, every chance he got.

#27. Stay Hands-On

Use it or lose it.

Don’t be afraid to roll up your sleeves and dive in. It’s part of learning.

You learn more by doing, and that you’re never above any job. And he would add that the more you know about the job at all levels, the more capable you are as you go up.

#28. Surround Yourself with Catalysts

Robin Hood had his Merry Men.

Build your wolf pack.

Some people we know, just happen to bring out our best.

Somehow, when you’re around them, you smile a little more. You feel a little stronger. You walk a little taller. You shine a little brighter.

They are your catalysts.

Surround yourself with the people that lift you.

#29. Embrace Change

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” — Charles Darwin

Change is a constant in our lives.

If we embrace it, we can use it as an opportunity to let go of what’s not working, and carry forward what is. We can also use it to reinvent ourselves.

#30. Anticipate It

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” — Peter F. Drucker

Be what’s next.

Think ahead. Anticipate.

A lot of the same things happen every day, every week, every month, every year. Watch for the patterns. Make them work for you.

You’d be surprised how many things we think are random can be traced back to a simple flow of events that weren’t random at all.

When you get in the habit of looking head, you set the stage to help yourself prepare for changes that may come your way, long before they start to show up.

#31. Age or Mature Like a Fine Cheese

Some people let time wear them down.

Others put time on their side. They get better with age.

Imagine if you got just a little better each day, how quickly that adds up over time.

Imagine you a year from now, better in so many ways, through better choices, better habits, and better thoughts.

#32. Seek Progress, Not Perfection

“The perfect is the enemy of good.” – Voltaire

Perfection is a great way to paralyze yourself.

Improvement over time beats seeking perfection out of the gate.

Think of perfection as a journey, not a destination, and enjoy the journey as you go.

#33. Add More Life to Your Years

“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” — Abraham Lincoln

Life’s short.

You can try to add more years to your life, but first add more life to your years.

Otherwise, what’s the point.

#34. Raise Your Frustration Tolerance

Imagine if you found out that your frustration tolerance level was the main thing holding you back from enjoying life a little more each day?

Think of all the little thing that bug you each day.

Maybe it’s the traffic. Maybe it’s people you know.

Maybe it’s a lot of little things throughout your day, that all seem to rub you the wrong way.

Imagine if you suddenly raised your frustration tolerance, and all the little things that bugged you no longer pushed your buttons?

This is one of those big choices in life that affects you every day.

#35. Take One Step Back to Take Two Steps Forward

I remember the pain of learning to type. I thought my two-finger method was fine. I hadn’t realized how much faster I could be.

But getting there was painful.

Speed didn’t come easy. It was like taking a step back. Eventually, taking the step back paid off, and now I get the benefit on a daily basis.

A lot of things you learn can be like that. Learning is awkward.

But the results are worth it, if you stick with it.

#36. Change the Things that Aren’t Working for You

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” — Albert Einstein

As Tony Robbins reminds us, “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.”

If things aren’t working for you, change them.

Change yourself first. The fastest person you can change in any situation is you. If you’re not getting the results you want, try changing yourself first.

Change your rules. It’s easy to create a bunch of rules for yourself that make success impossible, or always out of reach.

Change your environment. As Deepak Chopra , “You can’t make positive choices for the rest of your life without an environment that makes those choices easy, natural, and enjoyable.”

Change your relationships. As W. Clement Stone says, “Be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them.”

Change your metaphors for life. Is your life a comedy? A tragedy? A sitcom? An epic adventure? A dance?

Change how you represent things. Change what they mean to you. When you change how you represent things, you change how you experience them.

#37. Ask Better Questions

If you want better answers in life, ask better questions.

What are some better questions you can start asking yourself?

Exactly.

#38. Keep Reinventing Yourself

Life’s not static. Neither are you. Embrace your changes and make them work for you.

Life is a continuous process of reinvention.

Sometimes, it means becoming more of who you are. Sometimes, it means becoming more of who you were born to be. Other times, it means choosing more of who you want to be.

#39. Do More of What You Love

One of the best questions a mentor once asked me was:

“What do you want to spend more time doing?”

I had been so wrapped up in figuring out my career moves that I lost sight of the basics. After thinking it over, I got clarity around the things I liked to do the most. This made choosing my next moves a lot easier, because I now knew what I wanted to fill my day with.

Figure out what you want to spend more time doing.

Then, find a way to do more of it.

#40. Model the Best

“If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” – Isaac Newton

You can start from scratch or you can start from examples. By starting from examples, you can “Stand on the shoulders of giants” and leapfrog ahead. More importantly, you can use the examples to model from and inspire and guide yourself with skill. They will help you avoid dead ends and glass ceilings.

You can always choose to ignore what other people have done. But that should be an explicit decision. One of the best ways to speed up success is to build on the patterns and practices that work.

Success always leaves clues.

You can learn from the success of others to tune and prune your own success path.

#41. Use Mentors as the Short-Cuts

Mentors are the ultimate short-cut.

Find mentors who have “been there, done that.” They can shave years off your journey and help you avoid dead ends.

The best mentors will know how to tailor their experience and insight in a way that helps you play to your strengths and accelerate your success.

#42. Break the Loop

Our little loops can make us or break us.

Whether it’s an action or a thought, if it doesn’t serve you, break the loop. Don’t dig the ruts deeper.

When the loop starts, catch yourself and choose whether you need to start, stop, or continue something.

It’s easier said than done, but awareness it the first step.

#43. Build Better Habits

As the saying goes, “First, you make habits, and then your habits make you.”

Your routines and rituals can serve you well. Your daily little actions add up over time for the compound effect.

Do something once or twice and it’s a one off. Do it three times, and you might be on to something. Do it for 21 days in a row, and it just might stick.

Be careful in your little choices. The thoughts you think, the things you drink, the stuff you eat, and the little things you do. Habits can be insidious and act like a slippery slope.

#44. Do the Opposite

Sometimes the best thing you can do is to “do the opposite” of what you’d normally do, to periodically surprise people and have them see you in a new way.

It’s easy in life to fall into routines that don’t serve us.

The fastest way to change our game is to rattle our own cage and shake things up.

If you’re always late, try being early.

If you’re always slow, try changing your pace.

If you’re always fast, then try slowing down.

If you’re the person that always says, “No” to things, try saying more “Yes.”

If you always find what’s wrong with things, try finding what’s right.

If you lack your confidence, try strutting more of your stuff.

Doing the opposite of what you normally do, might lead to your next best breakthrough.

Worst case, you’ll learn more about you, you’ll learn more about balance, and you’ll put more options under your belt for how you show up or how you respond in life.

#45. Find Your Arena for Your Best Results

For 45 minutes, a violinist played his heart out in a subway station. During that time, thousands of people walked by. No applause. No recognition.

Two days earlier, that same violinist, Joshua Bell, one of the world’s best musicians, sold out at a theater in Boston where the seats average $100.

In the one arena, nobody appreciated his performance. Nobody expected the world’s best musician to be performing right there in front of them in a subway station.

Change the arena, and suddenly Bell’s world-class performance is recognized and rewarded.

As my one mentor put it to me, “Never measure your worth by the attention of people who are not paying attention.”

Sometimes you have to change your container.

You might be the world’s worst boxer, but the club’s best bouncer.

Maybe you’re a lousy novelist, but the word’s best children’s author.

Maybe you’re a second-rate teacher, but one of the world’s best entrepreneurs.

The ugly duckling wasn’t so ugly when he found out he was actually a Swan.

Don’t be a fish out of water.

When you’re in your element, it’s night and day.

#46. Root Yourself in Your Mission, Not Your Position

Jobs change.

Missions are durable.

If you lose your job, you can find other ways to live your mission.

For example, if my mission was to help people live healthier lives, but if, for whatever reason, I couldn’t be a doctor, I would find other ways.

#47. Live Without Regrets

Go for it.

“It is not the things we do in life that we regret on our death bed. It is the things we do not. Find your passion and follow it.” — Randy Pausch

“Did I live, did I love, did I matter?” – Brendan Burchard

“Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald

“You get this one moment to regret all the things you said you’d do but never did, and then it’s over. You die or you live. If you live, the look in your eyes is never the same.” — Gabrielle Bouliane.

#48. Take the High Road

Don’t get sucked into other people’s drama. Don’t get sucked into your own drama. Don’t spiral down into name calling, and blaming.

Step away from it.

Seek higher ground.

Don’t get pulled down, or stoop to their level.

#49. Be Your Own CEO

Apply business skills to life.

Business can teach us a lot. The most important thing they can teach us is how to be sustainable. You can use the same tools that create a strong, sustainable business, to create a strong, sustainable life.

If you know your vision, mission, and values, you have a strong foundation. Strategy skills teach us how to make the most of what we’ve got in terms of time and resources. We can innovate in our lives to do things better, faster, cheaper, much the same way we innovate in business. We can also reflect on and improve our performance in more objective ways, much the way a business does.

#50. Treat Work as Your Ultimate Form of Self-Expression

Work is a great place to show up how you want to be.

It’s your chance to make your soul sing.

It can be your ultimate dojo for personal development and your arena for your best results.

If you want to be an artist, do more art on the job.

You’re an individual with a unique set of strengths, weaknesses, and experiences. Maybe only your closest friends know your true strengths.

Maybe you don’t show your strengths at work.

Why not? No matter what the task is, you can leave your mark.

When you live your values on the job and you give your best where you have your best to give, you are operating at a higher level.

Your Habits Predict Your Future

Well, that’s my roundup of 50 of my best life hacks. I hope they serve you well.

I’d like to leave you with a quote from William Arthur Ward:

“Our words reveal our thoughts; our manners mirror our self-esteem; our actions reflect our character; our habits predict the future.”

Education, Family, Finance, Science

My Younger Self Series – Michelle

March 4, 2026 @ustadhyusuf Leave a comment

My Younger Self

My name is Michelle Paula Akute, an energy planner and engineer passionate about sustainable development and renewable energy. But long before the titles and responsibilities, I was simply a young girl trying to find her place in the world.

As a student at Alliance Girls High School, I believed that if I worked hard enough, everything would fall into place. What I did not realize was that hard work also comes with pressure — the pressure to perform, to excel, to never disappoint. I rarely gave myself permission to struggle openly.

Choosing Electrical and Electronic Engineering at the University of Nairobi was one of my earliest tests of courage. I walked into lecture halls where women were few, and expectations were high. I remember moments of doubt — quiet moments when I wondered if I truly belonged there. Engineering was demanding, and it stretched me intellectually and emotionally.

One lesson I learned early is that belonging is not about how many people look like you in a room. It is about knowing you have earned your seat at the table.

Self-doubt became another challenge. Even when I was doing well, there were times I questioned myself. Was I truly capable? Was I just lucky? Over time, I discovered that confidence is not something you wake up with one day. It is built slowly — through preparation, through persistence, and through choosing to show up even when you feel unsure.

When I pursued my Master’s degree at the University of Flensburg, I faced a different kind of stretching. Moving into an international academic environment pushed me beyond what was familiar. I had to adapt to new systems, new perspectives, and sometimes new ways of thinking. It was uncomfortable at times — but it expanded my vision. I began to see that energy planning was not just technical work; it was about communities, sustainability, and the future of our planet.

Returning home to work at Kenya Power and Lighting Company, I started quietly. I learned. I observed. I made mistakes. I grew. Leadership did not happen overnight. It developed gradually — through discipline, integrity, and consistency. I learned that preparation matters more than position, and that listening carefully can be more powerful than speaking loudly.

There were seasons when progress felt slow. Seasons when I felt the weight of responsibility. Seasons when balancing ambition and self-compassion was difficult. But every challenge taught me something valuable: resilience is built in the unseen moments.

Looking back, I realize I spent too much time worrying about whether I was enough. The truth is, growth is not dramatic. It is steady. It is quiet. It is built one decision at a time.

To the young person reading this — especially the young woman wondering if she belongs in science, engineering, leadership, or any space that feels intimidating — I want you to hear this clearly:

You belong.

You do not need to have everything figured out.

You do not need to be fearless.

You only need to take the next step with courage.

There will be challenges. There will be doubts. But those moments do not disqualify you — they develop you.

Trust your preparation.

Stay curious.

Stay grounded.

And most importantly, do not shrink yourself to fit into spaces that were never meant to limit you.

Your journey may feel uncertain now, but one day you will look back and realize that every challenge was shaping you for something meaningful.

With love and gratitude,
Your future self,
Michelle Paula Akute

Education, Family, Health, Science

Mental Health

February 12, 2026 @ustadhyusuf Leave a comment

“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.”

Mental health is not just about the absence of illness. Mental health is about thriving, resilience, and harnessing the full spectrum of human emotions.

As you navigate the complexities of your life, understand the principles that provide a foundation for your mental well-being. This understanding can be your North Star.

In this exploration, let’s learn what mental health really is. We will uncover the lurking threats that challenge your mental health. We will explore a simple model to grasp the nuances of your mental health. You will understand the foundational principles that underpin your mental health. Finally, we will discuss actionable habits and practices to fortify and nurture your mental health.

Ready? Let’s go!

What is Mental Health?

Mental health refers to cognitive, behavioral, and emotional well-being. It’s about how people think, feel, and behave. Good mental health means an individual can handle stress. They can relate to others and make informed decisions. This leads to a fulfilling life.

Conversely, poor mental health can lead to various issues, including mental illnesses like depression and anxiety.

Mental health is influenced by a variety of factors, including genetics, environment, life experiences, and biological factors. It’s essential to note that mental health is a dynamic state. It can change over time. This change is influenced by various life events and circumstances.

How the World Health Organization (WHO) Defines Mental Health

WHO’s definition of mental health is widely recognized.

They define mental health as:

“Mental health is a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.”

I think the key word here is “cope”. I find that coping skills are the key to sustainable mental health and well being.

Mental health is the foundational fabric of our existence, influencing our thoughts, emotions, and interactions.

It’s the compass that guides our responses to challenges. It also guides our connections with others. This guidance is vital from our earliest days to our mature years.

Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps decide how we handle stress, relate to others, and make healthy choices.

Mental health is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood.

Mental Health Practices

To improve your mental health, you should follow these key practices. Nurture connections for emotional support. Focus on physical activity and sleep for holistic health. Develop resilience through coping skills and setting boundaries.

Additionally, seek professional guidance when needed and be mindful of substance use and media consumption.

These practices serve as a compass, guiding individuals towards a balanced mental landscape:

Connecting with Others: Building strong relationships with family, friends, and community is essential. Maintaining these relationships can give emotional support. They also increase feelings of belonging. Imagine life as a puzzle, and relationships are the pieces that fit together. Building and nurturing strong connections with family is important. It creates a support network. This network acts like a safety net for your emotions. It’s the comforting feeling of belonging, the assurance that you’re not alone in this journey.
Staying Physically Active: Regular physical activity can help reduce depression and anxiety. It also improves mood and boosts overall well-being. Picture your body as a happy engine. Regular physical activity is like fuel that powers up your mood. It’s like a natural antidepressant that reduces feelings of anxiety and lifts your spirits. A simple walk or a joyful dance can boost your overall well-being.
Getting Enough Sleep: Prioritizing sleep and maintaining a regular sleep schedule can significantly impact mental health. Think of sleep as your mind’s recharging station. Prioritizing a good night’s rest isn’t just about banishing yawns; it significantly impacts your mental health. Maintaining a regular sleep schedule isn’t just a routine; it’s a powerful mental health practice.
Developing Coping Skills: Learning to handle stress in healthy ways is important. You can practice relaxation exercises, meditation, or deep-breathing exercises. These practices can improve resilience. Imagine stress as a storm; coping skills are your umbrella. Learning healthy ways to handle stress, like meditation, deep breathing, or relaxation exercises, is like fortifying your mental fortress. These tools empower you to weather life’s challenges with resilience.
Avoiding Drugs & Alcohol: Substance abuse can exacerbate mental health issues and interfere with prescribed medication. Visualize your mind as a clear pond, reflecting your thoughts and emotions. Substance abuse muddles these waters, making it hard to see clearly. Limiting alcohol and avoiding drugs ensures your mental waters stay calm and clear, free from added turbulence.
Getting Professional Help When Needed: Seeking therapy or counseling when facing challenges can give valuable tools. These tools and strategies can improve mental health. Imagine life’s twists and turns as a maze; therapists are the guides who help you navigate it. Seeking therapy or counseling isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s like acquiring a map to navigate challenges. These experts equip you with tools to improve your mental health journey.
Limiting Screen Time: Reducing time spent on electronic devices and promoting in-person interactions can improve mental well-being. Picture life as a canvas, and screen time is one color on that canvas. While staying informed and connected is essential, too much screen time can over saturate your mental landscape. By reducing electronic device use and focusing on real-world interactions, you keep a healthier balance.
Avoiding Tobacco: Smoking and other forms of tobacco consumption can exacerbate mental health issues. Imagine mental clarity as a refreshing breeze, and tobacco as a smokescreen that clouds your thoughts. Avoiding smoking and tobacco consumption helps keep your mental air clear and your emotions unburdened.
Staying Informed but Limiting Exposure to News: It’s essential to stay informed. Yet, constant exposure to negative news can increase feelings of anxiety. It can also lead to stress. Imagine your mind as a ship sailing through a sea of information. While it’s vital to stay informed, being constantly bombarded by negative news waves can stir up anxiety and stress storms. Finding the right balance helps you sail smoothly through the sea of information.
Setting Boundaries: This includes setting time aside for oneself, ensuring work-life balance, and learning to say no. Imagine life as a pie, and setting boundaries is how you carve out your slice. Prioritizing “me-time,” maintaining work-life balance, and learning to say no are like setting your own terms for living. These boundaries create a space where your mental well-being flourishes.

These practices can support mental health. Nonetheless, individual needs vary. What works for one person might not work for another. Always consult with a healthcare professional or counselor when considering changes to your mental health routine or when facing challenges.

Threats to Mental Health

Threats to mental health can be multifaceted and complex, often interwoven with various aspects of an individual’s life.

Some primary patterns or threats to mental health include:

Biological Factors: Genetic predispositions, chemical imbalances in the brain, or damage due to injury or illness can influence mental health. Just like a symphony, our brain plays its own tune, and sometimes, the notes can be a bit off. Genetic predispositions, chemical imbalances, or even injuries can throw the harmony out of balance. These factors set the stage for our mental health performance.
Traumatic Experiences: Events such as physical or emotional abuse can have deep effects on mental well-being. Accidents or the loss of a loved one also deeply affect our mental health. These events can leave lasting scars. Life can sometimes be like a rollercoaster, with moments that shake us to our core. These moments, like emotional abuse or losing someone dear, can leave echoes of heartache that reverberate in our minds. They shape our mental landscape, coloring it with profound emotions.
Chronic Stress: Prolonged exposure to stressful situations can harm mental health. These situations can be related to work, relationships, or other life circumstances. They erode mental health over time. Imagine a dripping faucet. Over time, the constant drip can wear away even the strongest material. Chronic stress, whether from demanding jobs or rocky relationships, can slowly erode our mental well-being. Eventually, it leaves us emotionally weathered.
Substance Abuse: The misuse of alcohol, drugs, or other substances can exacerbate mental health issues or lead to new ones. Substances like alcohol or drugs can be like two-sided swords. They might offer temporary relief, but they can also plunge us deeper into the shadows. Misusing these substances can worsen existing mental issues or even conjure new ones.
Social Isolation: Lack of social connection or prolonged feelings of loneliness can negatively impact mental health. Imagine a room with no sound, no voices, just silence. That’s what social isolation can feel like. The absence of meaningful connections can echo loudly in our minds, causing loneliness that chips away at our mental health.
Economic Factors: Financial stress, unemployment, or living in poverty can contribute to mental health challenges. Our wallets hold more than just money; they hold stress, too. Financial troubles and unemployment can negatively affect our mental well-being. Living on the edge of poverty creates a heavy load we carry in our minds.
Chronic Medical Conditions: Living with chronic diseases or conditions can increase the risk of mental health problems. Examples include diabetes or heart disease. Imagine walking on a tightrope while juggling. Living with chronic diseases is a bit like that. The constant balancing act between physical health and mental well-being can sometimes feel like a never-ending performance.
Early Adverse Life Experiences: Childhood adversities can have long-term effects on mental health. Such adversities include neglect, maltreatment, or witnessing domestic violence. Childhood memories are like seeds in the soil of our minds. Adverse experiences like neglect or witnessing violence can plant seeds that grow into mental health challenges later in life. These roots run deep.
Cultural and Societal Influences: Discrimination, stigmatization, or living in conflict zones can pose threats to mental well-being. Just as landscapes vary across the world, so do the cultural and societal influences on our minds. Discrimination, stigmatization, or even living in conflict zones can shape our mental well-being. This sculpting sometimes occurs in ways beyond our control.
Lack of Access to Care: There is an inability to access appropriate mental health care. This can result from economic, geographic, or societal barriers. These challenges can exacerbate mental health issues. Imagine needing a lifeline but not being able to reach it. Lack of access to mental health care can create barriers that prevent us from getting the help we need. Economic, geographic, or societal obstacles can stand in the way of our journey to better mental health.

Remember, just as we care for our physical health, we should understand these patterns and threats. This understanding helps us navigate the complex terrain of mental well-being.

By recognizing these factors, we gain better tools. We can compose our mental symphony. We are able to paint a brighter picture for ourselves and those around us.

Model of Mental Health

Mental health is a multifaceted tapestry, woven with threads of emotions, thoughts, and social connections.

To truly grasp its depth and breadth, we must understand its core components.

Let’s step into the model of mental health, exploring the pillars that define and shape our well-being.

Emotional Well-being: This involves the ability to effectively manage and express emotions. It encompasses feelings of contentment, happiness, and the capacity to recover from negative emotions. It’s our inner compass, guiding our feelings and reactions. It’s about savoring joy, managing emotions, and bouncing back from life’s lows.
Psychological Well-being: This pertains to how people evaluate their own lives. It includes aspects like having a purpose, setting and achieving goals, autonomy, and having positive relations with others. This is our life’s narrative. It’s the purpose that drives us, the goals we chase, and the relationships that enrich our journey.
Social Well-being: This relates to how individuals function within society and how they perceive their contributions to their communities. It involves creating and maintaining healthy relationships, feeling a sense of belonging, and having social integration. Our dance with the world around us. It’s the bonds we forge, the communities we uplift, and the sense of belonging we cultivate.

Principles for Understanding and Improving Mental Health

Mental health is a journey, not a destination. To truly thrive, we need a compass—principles that guide our understanding and actions.

Let’s explore these foundational insights to elevate our mental well-being:

Holistic Approach: Mental health is multifaceted, encompassing emotional, psychological, and social aspects. It’s essential to consider all these facets when evaluating or improving mental health. Our mental health isn’t a singular entity but a rich tapestry of emotional, psychological, and social threads. To truly nurture it, we must embrace its entirety, understanding each facet and its interplay with the others.
Resilience and Adaptability: Building resilience, or the ability to bounce back from adversity, is crucial. This involves developing coping mechanisms, adaptability, and flexibility in the face of challenges. Life is replete with challenges. Our ability to bounce back, to bend but not break, defines our mental strength. Cultivating resilience and adaptability is akin to building mental muscles, preparing us for the unforeseen challenges ahead.
Self-awareness: Recognizing one’s emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and triggers is foundational. This self-awareness can lead to better emotional regulation and healthier responses to stressors. The journey inward is the most profound. Recognizing our emotions, strengths, and triggers is the first step in mastering them. It’s through this introspection that we can chart our path to emotional equilibrium.
Connection: Humans are inherently social beings. Building and maintaining positive relationships contribute significantly to mental well-being. We are, by nature, social creatures. The bonds we forge, the connections we nurture, play a pivotal role in our mental well-being. In unity, in togetherness, we find strength.
Purpose and Meaning: Finding purpose, whether through work, hobbies, or relationships, can provide a sense of direction and fulfillment. In the grand tapestry of life, finding our unique thread, our purpose, gives direction to our endeavors. It’s this purpose that fuels our passions, drives our actions, and fills our days with meaning.
Continuous Learning and Growth: Embracing opportunities for learning and personal growth can enhance self-esteem and give a sense of achievement. The mind, ever curious, thrives on challenges. By embracing continuous learning, we feed our intellect. We also bolster our self-worth and celebrate each milestone in our journey of growth.
Self-care: Regularly taking time to engage in activities that promote relaxation and well-being, like exercise, meditation, or hobbies, is essential for maintaining good mental health. In the hustle of life, pausing to care for oneself is not a luxury but a necessity. Whether it’s through meditation, a walk in the park, or simply indulging in a hobby, these activities help us relax. They offer valuable moments of self-care. They rejuvenate our mental landscape.
Seeking Support: Recognizing when to seek support, whether from friends, family, or professionals, is crucial. There’s strength in understanding one’s limits and seeking help when needed. There’s immense strength in vulnerability, in recognizing when we need help. Whether it’s a confidante, a friend, or a professional, seeking support is a testament to our self-awareness and our commitment to our well-being.
Avoiding Harmful Behaviors: Substance abuse, self-harm, or other detrimental behaviors can severely impact mental health. Recognizing and addressing these behaviors is essential for overall well-being. Our actions, conscious or unconscious, have repercussions. Recognizing behaviors that harm our mental state and taking proactive steps to address them is paramount to our overall well-being.
Environment and External Factors: Socioeconomic factors, work-life balance, and physical health can influence mental health. It’s essential to consider these external factors when evaluating one’s mental state. We don’t exist in isolation. Our environment, our socio-economic realities, and even our physical health play roles in shaping our mental state. Being attuned to these external factors allows us to navigate them with finesse.

By understanding these principles and incorporating them into daily life, individuals can work towards maintaining and improving their mental health.

It’s also important to note that mental health is dynamic, and individuals might experience fluctuations based on various life events and circumstances.

What are Key Coping Skills for Mental Health

Coping skills are essential tools that help individuals navigate stress, challenges, and emotional upheavals.

Here’s a list of incredibly effective coping skills to bolster mental health and resilience:

Deep Breathing: Taking slow, deep breaths can activate the body’s relaxation response, reducing stress and anxiety. It’s the art of harnessing calm. By taking deliberate, slow breaths, we tap into our body’s innate ability to counteract stress, ushering in tranquility.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Tensing and then relaxing each muscle group in the body can help release physical tension. This is a journey through your body’s landscape. By intentionally tensing and then releasing muscles, we shed layers of physical tension, creating a ripple of relaxation.
Mindfulness Meditation: Staying present and fully engaging in the current moment can reduce rumination and anxiety. In the chaos of life, this is our anchor to the present. It’s about fully immersing in the now, silencing the noise of past regrets and future anxieties.
Guided Imagery: Visualizing calming and positive images can provide an escape from stressful situations. A mental escape hatch. By conjuring serene and uplifting visuals in our mind’s eye, we create a sanctuary from external stressors.
Physical Activity: Engaging in regular exercise, even just a walk, can release endorphins, which are natural mood lifters. More than just movement, it’s a natural elixir. Even a simple stroll can unleash endorphins, our body’s feel-good warriors.
Journaling: Writing down thoughts and feelings can provide clarity and an outlet for expression. It’s a dialogue with yourself. Penning down your thoughts offers clarity, turning the intangible into tangible insights.
Healthy Sleep Habits: Prioritizing sleep and maintaining a consistent sleep schedule can improve mood and cognitive function. Sleep is our reset button. By cherishing it, we rejuvenate our mind and body, setting the stage for a brighter tomorrow.
Social Connection: Talking to someone you trust, whether it’s a friend, family member, or therapist, can provide support and perspective. In the symphony of life, human connections are the harmonious notes. Conversations, whether with a confidante or a counselor, weave a safety net of understanding and perspective.
Time Management: Breaking tasks into manageable steps and setting priorities can reduce feelings of overwhelm. It’s the art of crafting time. By dissecting tasks and prioritizing, we transform overwhelming mountains into climbable hills.
Setting Boundaries: Learning to say no and ensuring work-life balance can prevent burnout. A testament to self-respect. By drawing lines, we ensure a harmonious balance between giving and preserving our energy.
Engaging in Hobbies: Doing activities you love can act as a distraction and boost mood. These are our soul’s playgrounds. Immersing in passions not only diverts our mind but also infuses joy into our being.
Limiting Media Consumption: Taking breaks from news and social media can reduce feelings of anxiety and negativity. In the age of information, selective consumption is power. Pausing from the relentless media stream shields us from unnecessary anxieties.
Positive Affirmations: Replacing negative thoughts with positive affirmations can shift mindset and self-perception. Words that sculpt our mindset. By consciously choosing uplifting narratives, we redefine our self-view and potential.
Gratitude Journaling: Focusing on positive aspects and things you’re grateful for can shift perspective and improve mood. Amidst life’s whirlwind, it’s our grounding force. By spotlighting our blessings, we shift from a lens of lack to one of abundance.
Grounding Techniques: Techniques like the “5-4-3-2-1” method can help bring you back to the present moment. You identify five things you can see. You identify four things you can touch. You then identify three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. Our compass during emotional storms. Techniques like “5-4-3-2-1” tether us to the present, anchoring us amidst overwhelming emotions.

Habits & Practices for Mental Health

Here’s a high-impact, actionable list of habits and practices for each component of mental health:

1. Emotional Well-being:

Daily Reflection: Spend 5-10 minutes each day reflecting on your emotions. Journaling can be a helpful tool.
Emotion Labeling: When feeling a strong emotion, pause and label it. Simply naming the emotion can reduce its intensity.
Deep Breathing: When overwhelmed, practice deep breathing exercises to calm the nervous system.

2. Psychological Well-being:

Set Small Goals: Break down larger tasks into achievable steps and celebrate small victories.
Growth Mindset: Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth. When faced with failure, ask, “What can I learn from this?”
Limit Negative Self-talk: Be aware of your internal dialogue. Challenge and reframe overly critical or negative thoughts.

3. Social Well-being:

Regular Check-ins: Make it a habit to check in with friends or family members at least once a week.
Join Groups or Clubs: Engage in community groups or clubs that align with your interests.
Active Listening: When conversing, practice active listening. This means fully concentrating, understanding, and responding to what the other person is saying.

General Practices for Overall Mental Health:

Routine: Establish a daily routine that includes time for work, relaxation, social connections, and self-care.
Physical Activity: Engage in at least 30 minutes of physical activity daily, whether it’s walking, yoga, or more intense exercise.
Mindfulness and Meditation: Dedicate a few minutes each day to mindfulness practices or meditation to enhance self-awareness and reduce stress.
Healthy Diet: Consume a balanced diet rich in whole foods, and be mindful of caffeine and sugar intake.
Sleep: Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep each night. Establish a bedtime routine to improve sleep quality.
Limit Screen Time: Reduce time spent on electronic devices, especially before bedtime.
Continuous Learning: Dedicate time each week to learn something new, whether it’s reading a book, taking an online course, or picking up a new hobby.
Seek Feedback: Regularly seek feedback in personal and professional settings to foster growth and self-awareness.
Limit Stimulants and Alcohol: Be mindful of the consumption of alcohol, caffeine, and other stimulants.
Professional Help: If feeling overwhelmed, consider seeking professional help. This could be in the form of therapy, counseling, or psychiatric services.

Remember, while these habits and practices can significantly enhance mental well-being, it’s essential to approach them with flexibility. Everyone is different, and it’s crucial to find what works best for you and adjust as needed.

Why Practice Mindfulness for Mental Health

If you had to choose a single skill to practice daily for mental health, mindfulness would be a top recommendation.

Mindfulness, which involves staying present and fully engaging with the current moment without judgment, has been shown to reduce stress, anxiety, and depression.

It can improve your overall well-being, enhance self-awareness, and foster a deeper connection to oneself and the world around.

By practicing mindfulness daily, individuals can cultivate a more balanced emotional state, better manage reactions to stressors, and enhance their overall quality of life.

How To Practice Mindfulness

Practicing mindfulness can be broken down into step-by-step processes.

Here’s a basic guide to help you get started:

Find a Quiet Space: Choose a location where you won’t be disturbed. This could be a quiet room, a park, or any place where you feel at ease.
Choose a Comfortable Position: Sit on a chair with your feet flat on the ground, lie down, or sit cross-legged on the floor. Ensure your back is straight to allow for deep breathing.
Close Your Eyes: This can help reduce external distractions and make it easier to focus inward.
Focus on Your Breath: Pay attention to the sensation of breathing in and out. Feel the air entering your nostrils, filling your lungs, and then exiting again.
Observe Without Judgment: As you focus on your breath, you’ll notice thoughts, feelings, and sensations arising. Instead of engaging with them or judging them, simply observe and let them pass, returning your focus to your breath.
Anchor Yourself: Whenever you find your mind wandering, gently bring your attention back to your breath or another chosen focal point, like the sensation of your body against the chair or the sounds around you.
Expand Your Awareness: After focusing on your breath for a while, expand your awareness to other sensations in your body, sounds in the environment, or even emotions you’re feeling.
Practice Regularly: Aim for short sessions initially, maybe 5-10 minutes, and gradually increase the duration as you become more comfortable with the practice.
Be Kind to Yourself: It’s natural for the mind to wander. Instead of getting frustrated, recognize this as a part of the process and gently redirect your attention.
Integrate Mindfulness into Daily Activities: Beyond formal meditation, try to incorporate mindfulness into everyday tasks. This could be while eating, walking, or even during conversations. The key is to be fully present in whatever you’re doing.

Remember, like any skill, mindfulness takes practice. The more you do it, the easier it becomes to remain present and centered, regardless of external circumstances.

Mental Health is Your Bedrock for Reaching Your Potential

In our grand journey through life, where we strive to reach our fullest potential, mental health forms the bedrock of all our endeavors.

It doesn’t just influence our state of mind. It shapes how we see the world, drives our actions, and grounds our relationships.

We intertwine every challenge and joy with our mental well-being.

By prioritizing it, we don’t just avoid pitfalls; we amplify our ability to learn, connect, and thrive.

As we chart our course through life’s intricate maze, a strong mental foundation turns every twist into a lesson, every setback into an opportunity, and every triumph into a testament to the human spirit’s boundless capability.

Family, Health, love, Society

My Younger Self Series – Mungai

January 23, 2026 @ustadhyusuf 1 Comment

This is your Life. Do what you love and do it often.

If you don’t like something, change it.

If you don’t like your job, quit.

If you don’t have enough time, stop watching TV.

If you are looking for the love of your life, stop;

They will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love.

Stop over analyzing. All emotions are beautiful when you eat, appreciate every last bite. Life is simple.

Open your mind, arms, and heart to new things and people, we are united in our differences.

Ask the next person you see what their passion is, and share your inspiring dream with them.

Travel often; Getting lost will help you find yourself. Some opportunities only come once, seize them.

Life is about the people you meet and the things you create with them so go out and start creating.

Life is short.

Live your dream and share your passion.

With love and gratitude,
Your future self,
W. K. Mungai

Business, Education, Finance, Health, Home

My Younger Self Series – Simiyu

January 9, 2026 @ustadhyusuf Leave a comment

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better,”

My name is Job Simiyu, and this is the story of my younger self and the journey that has shaped who I am today.

I was born on 3rd September 2003 in a small village called Menu, in Bungoma County, Kenya. I grew up as the only son of Patrick Simiyu and Agnes Khaemba, surrounded by eight sisters. Being the only boy in a large family placed responsibility on me from a very young age. Even as a child, I understood that much was expected of me.

My father was, and still is, a peasant farmer who depended on small-scale farming to provide for our family. Life was difficult, but my parents tried their best with the little they had. However, in 2007, when I was still very young, my life changed completely. My mother became seriously ill and was eventually paralysed. From that moment, my childhood took a different direction.

As a young boy, watching my mother lose her strength and ability to work was deeply painful. Our home was filled with worry and uncertainty. Medical needs increased, yet our family income remained very low. I watched my father struggle every day in the farm, trying to care for my paralysed wife and provide for his children. Even though I was young and did not fully understand everything, I felt the fear, pain, and heaviness in our home.

My Education Journey

I began my primary education in 2007 at Chwele Boys Primary School, where I studied until 2019. My younger self faced many educational challenges. There were frequent times when school fees could not be paid, uniforms were missing, and basic learning materials were unavailable. I was often sent home because of fees, and those moments were painful and embarrassing, especially when I saw other children continuing with their studies without interruption.

Despite all this, my younger self refused to give up. I knew, even then, that education was my only hope of changing my life and helping my family in the future. I studied whenever I got the chance and learned patience during times of hardship.

In 2020, I joined Kaptanai High School, where I studied until 2023. Secondary school life was even more challenging. Fees were higher, my mother was still paralysed, and my father’s farming income was not enough to meet our needs. Many times, I felt overwhelmed and close to giving up, but I reminded myself of how far I had already come and why I started.

Through resilience, discipline, and determination, I managed to complete my secondary education and passed my Form Four. For my younger self, completing Form Four was not just an academic achievement—it was a victory over hardship and despair.

Faith and Values

From a young age, my faith in God became my strongest foundation. I grew up as a God-fearing person, and prayer became my refuge whenever life felt too heavy. My younger self learned to depend on God for strength, hope, and direction.

Because of the struggles I faced while growing up, I developed strong values early in life. I learned the importance of honesty, humility, hard work, patience, perseverance, respect, and responsibility. These values continue to guide me today.

Life After Form Four

After completing Form Four in 2023, I hoped to continue with college education. Unfortunately, financial challenges made this impossible at the time. This was very painful, especially because education had always been my dream. However, my younger self had already learned not to give up easily.

Instead of losing hope, I chose to remain patient and determined. I believe that education and success are journeys, not one-time events. I continue to trust in God, work hard, and seek opportunities that will help me grow and support my family.

Conclusion

From 2007, when my mother became paralysed, to the day I completed Form Four, my younger self walked a path filled with pain, struggle, faith, and perseverance. Life was not easy, but I remained resilient and focused.

My story reminds me that where I come from does not define where I am going. Through faith, determination, and strong values, I believe I will succeed.

With love and gratitude,
Your future self,
Job Simiyu

“A people who have lost their stories have lost their road map.”

Chapter One: Believe Deeply in Your Worth

Chapter Two: Pursue Excellence

Sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will have to pause and say here live a great street sweeper who swept his job well.

Excellence is bringing your very best into every room, every task, and every opportunity life places before you.

Chapter Three: Remember Ubuntu

“Rain does not fall on one roof alone.” — Cameroonian Proverb

Meaning

“Umoja ni nguvu, utengano ni udhaifu.” — Swahili Proverb

Meaning

“A community is like a bundle of sticks.” — African Proverb

Meaning

“A single tree cannot make a forest.” — African Proverb

Meaning

“When spider webs unite, they can halt a lion.” — Ethiopian Proverb

Meaning

“A house built by many hands will never fall.” — African Proverb

Meaning

The central message of Ubuntu

The Big Ubuntu Proverbs Lesson

Remember Who We Were

North and Northeast Africa

West Africa

Southern Africa

“An ounce of practice is worth a thousand words.”

Final Closing

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What is Mental Health?

How the World Health Organization (WHO) Defines Mental Health

Mental Health Practices

Threats to Mental Health

Model of Mental Health

Principles for Understanding and Improving Mental Health

What are Key Coping Skills for Mental Health

Habits & Practices for Mental Health

Why Practice Mindfulness for Mental Health

How To Practice Mindfulness

Mental Health is Your Bedrock for Reaching Your Potential

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"in pursuit of GREATNESS"